How to budget money

Wow. So much has happened and I cant even begin to recall everything that has transpired over the course of this last year. It has been BUSY.

We took a lot of trips, we saw a lot of things, we started a lot of goals, and wrapped up the year with completing some of them. RJ is 11. She's almost 5'4 believe it or not. I'm proud of her growth and maturity but we have a long way to go entering high school shortly down the line.

Darlene and I have done some traveling this year. We played in a WPT event in Florida, where I made it to Day 2 and got to bag up chips with the pros. We have really done a lot. We took lots of weekend trips and short getaways to de-stress, and I had a lot of people asking how we did it. It is hard out here for a PIMP!

It's just really hard to maintain your money and also pay off old debt. I have to tell you though, it is 100% possible to do. In just 3 short years Darlene and I have diligently paid off more than $75,000 in debt and that's including our wedding costs. When we first were engaged, I had a serious discussion about not having our family support us in any financial way. I didn't want to burden either set of parents with a bill for something we wanted to do. We worked really hard and I picked up a few tricks along the way that really made it easy to do the things that we wanted to without breaking the bank. Here are a few of them.

•  Plan. - I know that sounds silly, but plan. If you KNOW that you're attending a dinner, lunch, function, party, or planning any of the above, plan it for crying out loud.
• Attending a lunch/dinner? - Find out the restaurant and visit their website. In most cases they offer coupons right off of their webpage. Embarrassed to use a coupon? Get over it. This day and age, no one is laughing when you use a coupon.
• Attending a birthday party? Find out what they like, and look on eBay and Amazon. I find deals with them all the time that cut the cost of the item that the kid is looking for.
• Planning a birthday party for your kid? Use your resources! Know someone with a pool? Big yard for a slip and slide? Church with a field for open play? Skating rink? Gymnasium? Don't pay for 15 bratty kids to run around Dave&Busters. It's literally over $500 to do that and it's not including cake and a gift for your child. Even a splash pad in your city can be rented out very cheaply. Bring the bbq and serve up hotdogs and cake. There's a party for under $100.
• For all items listed above, use your rewards credit card. Getting 1-5% back on purchased that you are already going to make, really makes sense. Not to mention, I can use these rewards to get gift cards to places that I could spend on other things.
• Example: I put ALL of our monthly bills that can be paid on the Credit Card, on there. Why? Because I get 1-5% cash back. I ALWAYS pay the credit card off LONGGGG before the interest can hit, and the bonus? I can select 1-3 ($25) gift cards monthly. Anything from gas cards, to restaurants, to Walmart. Most times it's Walmart for us. I don't like them, but they have an app that you can upload your receipts to, and if they find a cheaper price on something you purchased, they credit your Walmart account.
• Did you catch that? I take FREE gift cards that I get from my CC company and spend them at Walmart who ALSO reimburses me for items that are found cheaper elsewhere. It is literally a dream come true.
• Flights and Travel?
• Glad you asked! Fly out on Tuesdays. It stinks. However, catch the red eye on Tuesday, stay until Friday and Saturday. The reason you'll thank me? Several reasons. It's wayyy cheaper to fly on Tuesday. Your hotel stay will be based on Midweek rates which is sometimes HALF of what you would pay on the weekend. Also, if you're off on Saturday and Sunday, now you'll have a day or two to get back to normal, do laundry, catch up on what happened at your house while you were gone, etc.
• Use Reward systems. You heard me! Sign up for Airline rewards (not necessarily their CC, but their frequent flier registration). Get the miles from them. You may be able to redeem them later for drink tickets, or cheaper flights. Use your Credit Card to purchase the flight. Get that 1-5% back on something you are already going to buy! Same goes for hotels. Use Hotels.com. Buy 10 nights, get one free. Who passes up on FREE?

Planning really helps. And that goes for everything. Planning your finances down to the dollar can really help you pay off some hefty debt and quickly. We lived off of $100 for every 2 weeks between the 3 of us. That may sound like a lot, but it isn't. Between needing shoes, calculators, books, lunch, coffee, and whatever, the money goes fast. However, sticking to that allowed my wife and I to be 90% debt free. We have less than $10,000 in debt remaining between the 2 of us, and that is NOTHING in comparison to most folks. We own everything and I'm very proud of that. Keep in mind, it takes a TON of sacrifice and a TON of practice and patience to get your specific formula just right.

The one thing I want to say, is....DO it. Don't wait until retirement to try to pay things off. Get it done now and live much easier now and when you get older. If it takes 2-3 years sacrifice of $200 a month, do it. It is totally worth it.

Pray about it. Ask for support, and get everyone in your house on the same page. Don't forget to tithe either. I thought money going out would stop the progress, but the truth is, it only made life easier. Don't stop! You can get it!

Step Parenting

I think 1 of the hardest jobs in the world short of being a birth parent, is being a step parent. I see how much effort Darlene puts into raising the right way. I love all of her efforts. It's not easy to watch as I tend to get frustrated when she isn't standing up straight or following direction. I just remember my childhood so much differently. I remember the "Yes Ma'am, No Ma'am" like it was yesterday. It took me 1 time to realize that I couldn't sass my mother without consequence. It gave me an understanding for respect. Some kids just don't have that these days.

It's hard to know my place. I don't want to discipline. I'm not her mother, but I will absolutely not be disrespected, and even more so I will not allow her to disrespect her mother. That is a big no no in my house. But where do I draw the line? Where do I stop and start? It's such a gray area.

Over the weekend Darlene and I did some major house cleaning. Nic moved out and Nina moved in. I wanted to make sure we were de-cluttered as I can't live like that. We unpacked every tote, every box. Put away all the things that needed a home. It felt really good to get that out of the way. I can't live in a dirty house. Over the years my knack for being clean has really taken a high note.

During this extreme clean I had  help with some items. Since she's 8 I wasn't going to hand her the bleach and a mop and tell her to use her best judgment. I asked her to dust 2 shelves that needed attention. Dust is #1 in Phoenix. And it rolls in. Each shelf was no more than 4 shelves, so this task was quickly complete. The next was sweeping off the back porch. This is where the fun began. As we walked to the back door together I asked to sweep the back porch off since there was a fair amount of dirt and leaves from the recent rainfall. She asked why I would clean something that is outside. She said "It's outside, it's supposed to be dirty out here." She had a hard time seeing the importance of being cleanly in all areas of the house. I explained that the dogs spend time out back and so do we, especially when we have company. It's important that everyone feels comfortable. If it's dirty no one will want to be out here. She argued more about how dirt and leaves were SUPPOSED to be there. I restated my request to sweep then shut the sliding glass door. Sometimes my temper gets to me. I just want to say, "Do it because I told you to, and stop arguing. You are not getting out of this!." But you can't do that with 8 year olds. They are like the terrible 2's only they know how to do much more arguing than just "No!" So you have to explain things. Sometimes over and over and over again. Even if you know that it has registered in their brains as logical, you must still stand there and reiterate it because they will still argue if they don't want to do something.

Eventually the sweeping began.  is by no means a seasoned sweeper. Which is ok. That comes with time and experience. I just wanted the effort. So when I came to the back to check on her and move furniture and boxes I saw her playing with the dirt. Let's face it, chores are boring. I don't like doing them either, but at what point do you just say, "If I do this right and fast I'll be all done and I can watch tv or hang out." I came outside to help her, and as she realizes that she is caught for playing, so she complains of an ailment. Any ailment will do to get her out of chores, and she knows that. Do I let her off the hook? Do I send her inside to relax with her "achy leg"? Nope. I have her shake out a rug which throws her into full panic mode. "I'm hungry! No one has fed me today!" Which is only funny since before the dusting began she wolfed down 3 pancakes and 2 pieces of bacon; this was all within 30 minutes of her exclamation of being starved. You hurt my leg by making me shake out a rug! I'm telling my MOM!!!!!" "I'm thirsty! My throat hurts!" "I'm tired" "I have an itch" ....Jesus save me.

Mom comes to the rescue. She knows exactly what to say and do to stop the craziness. I stay quiet and continue to work while I fanaticize about sending her to her room with no electronics for the rant. Is that wrong? Am I jerk for all this? I don't think so, but I don't want to be the evil step parent in her life. So where is this fucking line, and where the hell can I draw it?

Broke now - Rich Later

My generation has a lack of focus when it comes to being debt free. I know far too many who hold giant credit card balances, car notes, student loans, defaulted bills, and miscellaneous debt that they attempt to ignore. You can do that, but me. No thanks.

Darlene and I have been working very hard since 2015 to pay off old balances, pay for items on our own, and strive to be a debt free household. In the 2015 year we spent $19,978 on becoming debt free. This also included paying for our own wedding (which was beautiful and anyone looking for a venue in AZ should check out Virginia's House) and honeymoon.  It took a lot. A lot of bargaining.  A lot of couponing at Michael's craft store for wedding invitations, favors, and odds and ends. We really made out like bandits.

2016 is no different. $7,404 has been spent towards making a better life for my little family. We are $13,453 away from getting the biggest debt of my lifetime behind me. After that there is student loans of $15,000. Which, if you ask a graduated student, this is very minimal debt. Allow me to put things into perspective.

                   We need to get to December to pay off the big debt for this year. This will save us from a $1,430 payment on a monthly basis. On top of regular pay period surplus, we will be saving over $2,000 a month. That's a ton of money to put into savings. That also means that between a child tax refund and that savings, we could be debt free as early as April 2017. - Challenge Accepted.


This all means living like you're broke. Minimal Surplus spending every pay day and super wise spending. Luckily for us we have found ways to still have fun without breaking the bank. We saw 112, Dru Hill, and Floetry for $20. Not bad seats either. Worst was 20th row. Mercury games for free, baseball games for cheap. I even saw my very first Yankee game. Tickets were $100 a seat in our section and I paid $130 for 4 tickets. Hallelujah. And the Yanks won. Yessssir.

We have 2 deep freezers stock piled. A pantry space stock piled, and a willingness to not owe anyone any money after mid 2017. Get it together Millennials. We need to step up the game.

Take Care of me

I have had the busiest weeks lately. I am making every attempt to keep my head held high. My issue is that there are just not enough hours in the day. Yesterday we tried for the 2nd time in a row to get RJs SSN changed due to her name change. We weren't able to get in before Darlene's eye appointment. Bummer deal. Getting a passport for her is proving to be super difficult.

Everyday I head to take Charlie for a run. I love it. I really do. My only issue is my stupid hamstrings. Right now they are not cooperating. So it makes it less fun for him. Sorry pal. I get there 145-2p, and I'm there 230-245p. That gives me 45 minutes of free time. Typically it's spent in a produce aisle picking out that nights dinner. What vegetable have we not eaten lately? -_- ALL of them, my family says. haha. We could never be vegetarians. Ok so 45 minutes to drive from Charlie to the store. Then leave to get the kids from school. I get RJ at 350-4p. Then take 2 kids from the school home. We get about 415-420p. I get RJ started on homework, and I start on dinner. If there are any dishes in the sink, my plans are almost foiled because I refuse to start dinner with dishes in the sink. So here I am washing dishes. Then I start dinner only to realize I am almost late to getting Dar off the train. I get to our stop and get her. Stop to pick up any prescriptions or last minute grocery items, them head home. By now it's 530p. Depending on whether or not RJ is done with homework, someone will get in the shower. Then dinner is completed. Then served. It's now 615p. Homework wrap up and maybe some kid free time. By 7p I am washing dishes, my wife is doing laundry and packing up the leftovers for tomorrows lunch. Then I hit the showers, she puts RJ to sleep and by 730p I get to look at her and ask how her day was. At this point I have been in "go mode" for 15 hours.

Then we need to talk about life. How much money are we willing to spend on our summer vacation? How much is RJs Bible camp? How much is RJs summer camp? How much is the Denver trip going to cost in June? Will you have time accrued to take an international trip in July? Are we still going to D.C. to see Mill? Did you finish your passport name change? What do you need for that? Passport photos? Great let's go. It's only 8p and I don't have to be up until 4a.

I need a vacation. I experienced my first burn out in a super long time the other day. I need a revitalizing trip. Something to make me feel new. I need it. Super bad. I'm exhausted. And we are trying to take care of families in the process. Taking them food and items they may need. Helping them with day to day things. The savings account is dwindling and I am tired. Surprise! Your struts are bad. Surprise! Time for new brakes. Surprise! Your flight tickets are on sale, purchase NOW or suffer the consequences.

This sounds like complaining. I'm really not. We are SUPERIORLY Blessed. And I know that. Sometimes I just need a day to do absolutely nothing. A day to just us. Somewhere beachy preferred

End of Rant. .

Life as I know it

These past months have been super hectic. Full schedules and lots to do at all times. The good news, Darlene can finally reduce the amount of prednisone. This is such a high achievement as she feels like it has been destroying her body. If it keeps her vision, I'll take the puffy face. Her vision seems to be steady and she has even driven a bit. As long as she feels confident, I am not going to tell her no. The bad. The entire house is sick. RJ has had it for what seems like a month now. I got it, tried to get rid of it. Thought I did, then nope. Then Darlene got it. It's super bad if Darlene gets it. She is immunosuppressed. That means no immune system to fight for her. The common cold could turn into pneumonia. We are praying that it doesn't get there.

Right now I am walking Charlie 5 days a week so that RJ has a ride to school 4 days a week. It's weird that I am in my good friends home 5 days a week and don't get to see them. I am thinking of starting to leave them notes. Even one liners to make it a little less detached. Luckily for me running Charlie means that Darlene doesn't have to find a way to get RJ to school. That's such a big challenge when you're not driving daily. The train has been so good for us and it drops Darlene right in front of her job. Thank you God for making a way.

I really love spending time with Charlie in the afternoons. Running with him has been great. Although I am not able to do that right now. Since this cold is kicking me in the butt I cant get the energy or my sore throat and fatigue to cooperate. So for now, I just take pictures and walk him all around the park.

 

He is definitely a good boy but needs some manners for people and dogs. He likes to get in their faces. Never aggressively, but instead of curiosity. We are working on that. As you can see, when he knows there is a treat involved, he will sit and stay. He's patient and listens fairly well.

 

 

While walking him I ended up finding a brindle Chihuahua wandering the streets. We picked her up. Bathed her and posted fliers online and in the neighborhood. A week later the owner came forward. I was sad and happy about it. Sad that she was going home. We were getting into a groove I felt and she was becoming a part of the family. Happy though that she is at the home where she belongs. The owner was really happy about it and I was told that he had been crying since the day she was missing. Makes me happy to know there are dog owners like us out there.

 

 

These next few weeks are going to be challenging. We do have summer break to look forward to. I am hoping that we can find a good program for RJ to partake in. Get her active and having fun. We have Summer church camp lined up which we are super excited for. Both Taurus birthdays around the corner and a trip to LA in less than 2 weeks. It's going to be hectic. Work. School. Play. House. Side business. I'm overwhelmed, but we are going to make it. God is good.

 

Happy Monday folks.

 



Updated

Things have been a little crazy lately. Darlene went back to hurt this past Monday. She has about 30% remaining vision. It's scary but she is just such a trooper. She could accept defeat. She could quit and say that she cant do it, but she's the strongest woman I know. I am so lucky to have her as my wife.

Last year we hustled so hard and was able to pay off $20k in debt. This year will be no different. With her working again this means that we will be able to pay off my last looming debt. Once that's complete for the remaining $18k we can move on to student debt and have them handled before the end of 2017. This would be absolutely debt free.

2016 will be the land of many businesses. eBay is doing well for me. Always paying off the Southwest Gas bill and I am so grateful for that business. On the flip side, I am going to get this lamp business off of the ground. In addition, I am going to solicit people to help me with it and start a side business. I need something to pop off, and it's going to happen this year. I can feel it.

I feel like I have been taking on so very much emotional stress lately. I'm lucky and so very little of it has to do with my personal life. My only fear is for my wife not having vision. That's such a small worry in comparison to previous relationships. Praise Jesus for my wife!

Thoughts that circle my mind on days like this...

How is it that you devote yourself to being an example of someone who is generous, kind, forgiving, and patient. Yet you are so unkind, unforgiving, and impatient to the people who devote their heart strings to you? How could you be such an advocate for those things on social media, but in the real world you don't live that way? Explain this to me. Not because I deserve your personal explanation, but how do you plan on being an advocate for humanitarianism yet cannot inspire without insult to the people closest to you? Last I checked, growth starts within and blooms on the outside. It cannot be faked, it cannot be artificially grown. It takes dedication, and the right ingredients to make something flourish. Learn the steps or get out of the stairwell already.

If you can turn your love for someone on and off like a light switch, someone needs to rewire the hell out of you.

My brain keeps turning

The city continues to call my name. I keep thinking of new ways to handle 2016. I've had so many things on my mind. What happens if Darlene's vision worsens? What happens if our obligations outweigh us? What happens if Darlene no longer has health insurance? Is mine sufficient for her needs? A thousand questions pass through my mind every single day. I keep remembering that God has a grip on us. He has the answers, the knowledge, the plan. I don't. I do my best to give all the worry and doubt that I have to Him. I admit that it's hard, but we do it because there is no other choice.

I want 2016 to be different. I want things to change for us in a positive direction. I am more than willing to work for it. I have spent the majority of this year preparing us for the future. We paid off $20,000 worth of debt. That's more than most people can handle in several years. I have my budget planning skills to thank for all that. I want to do more. 2016 I want to do another $20,000 and set us up to be in a position to own a home. A nice home. An amazing home. A home that my wife will love and a place where our daughter can be raised.

I know that all things are reachable. This year will make it a serious challenge. Darlene not working has always been fine with me. It will make it harder to hit 20k, but her health is my #1 concern. The money means nothing if she can't be here or see what's happening.

I have some new ventures that I am considering for the new year. With Etsy nation and Pinterest, people have made it easier to sell goods online. I want to start 2 things and see where each one can head for us.

1. Dog treat business. Obviously this would be small scale and sold likely to people that we know. However, these would be organic and non preservative/chemical based treats. Vitamins for improved health and yummy treats. 3 sizes.

2. Wine bottle lamps. Customized per order. Too many ideas here to list.

If you're reading this, do me a favor. Pray for my wife. Pray that God continues to lead us to where we need to be and pray that He heals her vision woes. Please.

I hope that all of you have an amazing 2016 welcoming. Darlene and I will be in Las Vegas to ring in the new year and to see her brother get married. Safe travels. Make a goal this year. And reach for it. You can do it!

The 12 month Experiment

The last 12 months for my wife and I have been absolutely chaotic. One thing has remained true for us, we love each other and that has only grown with the challenges that continue to be presented to us. As some may already know, Darlene has been struggling with her vision. Right now she has about 30% vision, and if you really take a moment to think about what that would be like you would see how challenging this year has been. There were some major accomplishments too! RJ is now in 5th grade, we got married in August, we paid $20k worth of debt in 2015.

This means that 2016 will have a lot in store for us too. Our goal is to handle another $20k in debt bringing our DTI to a more than acceptable range. It would only leave us about $15k worth of student loans which will be easy to consolidate. I plan to provide for my family in a way that is not only unconventional, but unique and out of the box.

Darlene's vision concerns me. There's no lying about that. My first instinct was to max out the credit cards and take her all over the world. She's too humble for all that. Instead I talked her into a 12 month Experiment. This means that every single month Darlene and I, and occasionally the kiddo too will be abiding by the following:

• Take a 3 day weekend toad trip.
• Destination to be determined by draw. That's right. By draw. Granted most international travel will be reserved for Spring and Summer, the wintery like months will be in the states.
• We can fly, we can drive, we can train.
• No 2 trips can be the same. You heard that. If we drive to LA, the next time we travel, it will be by plane, train, or greyhound.
• No 2 same destinations. If we travel one month kid free - the following will be with the kid. Family time. The scenery, the loves of my life out and about with yours truly.
• 25 picture minimum and I don't mean to ruin things, but this won't just be a #selfienation 25 pictures.
• Fun- Love- and Map connecting.
• I bought a map of the US earlier this year with plans to string the places we have been with dates. This will add to our map.
• See things that we have never seen, do things we have never done, and soak in every single bit of joy and beauty that they eye can see and the skin can feel .

I'm excited for this adventure. I wish that I wasn't asking to start it based on her vision, but better late than never. I cant wait to continue our path with God leading our way. Thank you Jesus for almost another year!

Inspiration

Have you ever been influenced or inspired by someone who had no intention of doing so? I just had a conversation with a woman that I work with.  She was doing her make up in the bathroom and made mention that her electricity was out since 330am. In the process of telling me about her morning routine she said that all of Cave Creek was out and that she lived on the very North end. If you're a Phoenician, or have been to that part of Arizona, you know and understand that the area in which she lives is very very nice. Deserving of two "very's".

I don't think she had any intention of inspiring me, but she absolutely did. Over the course of the last year Darlene and I have been faced with challenge after challenge. Health mainly. My concerns have risen higher and higher with concern as to how I can continue to provide the lifestyle that we deserve to have. I'm not an expensive person, I have a very tight budget which we stick to for the most part. We really strive to ensure that everyone in our lives are taken care of too.

I have had this idea for over a year now. Piecing it together is always so much work. Here's the idea. Receiving unwanted items and finding ways to improve them for resale. In most cases people ditch what they can't use anymore or has been beaten by the sun. What if I took the time to reverse those effects or worked to find ways to revamp old items? I think it's worth it. Granted materials can be expensive. Just depends on the job. The bbq smoker paint was $9. It brought this thing completely back to life. The tricycle had to be done in several steps. remove the seat, the box in the back which was originally yellow. Lots of painters tape too. Spent roughly $3 on fixing this and was sold for $15. The chairs sold with a table that was painted similarly. All the table needed was screws. So to paint and fix those cost me $4 and the 2 chairs and table sold for $25. The ugly brown cushion chairs were a hot mess. When I received them I was wondering what on earth to do with them. Reupholstering them was super easy. So was the paint. Cost roughly $4 and sold with a table for $30. The entertainment center below was great. Loved that thing. Ended up giving it to a coworker who had a daughter that needed one.

 

Either way, this is my idea. Find items that are of LOW cost or free- fix - and recycle for profit. Problem here, I don't have a retail store. I don't have a space for items like this that would 1. Keep them protected (AND) 2. Keep me from feeling like a clutter maniac.

 

Here's my big big thought. What if- For an entire year - I worked to fix items. When making a profit, I put the money away and did not spend. Could I do something amazing with the money? Save for a home? Purchase a car? Provide for my little family. I think the answer is yes, and I also think that the possibilities are endless too. I have a semi creative mind, and I also have a patient wife who gives me honest feedback about my ideas.

 

So here we go. 2016 will mark the year of the fixer. The creative. The profit keeper to determine how far I can take this. Wish me luck!



 

 

I have to Trust in God

That is so much easier said than done.

Today I feel pretty helpless and am trying not to show it. Darlene's vision is the worst it has ever been. She cannot drive, cannot read text messages, and cannot see the TV. At times, she can use a magnifying glass to read text, but even then it is difficult. I have 3 people taking RJ to school this week. I know that this is going to throw her off which is not fun.

We went into the Eye Doctor on the 23rd. She received the best form of medicine, Lucentis. There has been steady digression with no improvement whatsoever. When they took photos of her eye there were 2 lines that were not steady. There used to be 1, now there are 2.

Did I say it was hard to trust what God has planned for us? Well, it is. It's selfish to say, but I am struggling with imagining that my wife won't have the ability to see our travels. See RJ grow up, Us grow old, or new things. I know it's selfish because this feeling must be a thousand times worse for her. I just can't even imagine what she's experiencing.

She cooked all day on Thanksgiving. I got up really early and make a bacon weave for the turkey and setup the smoker. She maintained everything in the home all day long. There was a point in the night where she was looking at me, but she wasn't able to make eye contact with me. She couldn't find my eyes. That moment fed panic through my body. How will I do this on my own if things get worse? How will I get RJ to school? Will Darlene be able to work? What about our health insurance? What do I do if she can't work and I put them on my health insurance? Mine is nowhere as good has hers. Will she digress in health with subpar health providers?

Jesus, help us. Help my wife. Help her vision please Lord God. I need her to see, please God, please.
I am trusting in You, but I will not lie, this is seriously difficult. I know that You have steadily dropped hints. I have seen the messages this weekend, and I am begging you to please let her see. Please heal her Lord. We are faithful. We will follow. Please help her. I am begging.

Weight loss and diet plan

People are often asking Darlene and I how we handled all the weight loss. There is SO much out there these days. Fad Diets galore. You won't hear me talk about acai berries, or garnicia whatever, or LV Fat burners, and whatever else is out there. No HCG, no supplements, no garbage. If you want to know how to lose weight and feel better I can tell you. I can also help you see the advantages of changing these habits.

When I started my life change, I weighed in at 280 pounds. I have tried all the fat burners, the HCG, the phentermine, the full bars, the JUNK. And I would lose a pound, maybe 2. Then I would binge eat, and gain more. Being obese is a disease. I truly believe that you have to RE-brainwash yourself to lose weight. It's just a fact. Mine came about like this. I have a then 8 year old daughter who asks me to teach her to play baseball. Being the high school softball player, I agreed. I pitched, and she smacked the crap out of the ball. I chased it, and quickly realized that I couldn't chase it again. So WHO was chasing the ball after it being hit? My 8 year old. What a crappy parent I am. After a few hit balls and chasing them, she lost interest. I can't blame her. I didn't make it very fun since I was so winded from chasing the first ball.

I went into the house where Darlene was preparing dinner. I told her that I didn't want to eat the same anymore, and that I can't live like this. I told her that I wanted all the processed foods out the door and I wanted to get back in the gym. I could see that she was relieved to hear me say it as she made concerted efforts in the beginning of our relationship to make these same changes. She agreed, and I am forever grateful for that.

Step 1: We ditched all intentional carbs and soda. No more bread, pasta, potatoes, chips, tortillas, and all that delicious stuff. It was hard. But 21 days later, I didn't want bread, or anything like it. We downloaded my Fitness pal on our phones, and started off with a 1600 calorie tracking (decrease by 50 every week until you reach 1200--DO NOT go lower than 1200). Notice I didn't say diet? Tracking. As this was a lifestyle change. Not a diet.  Within the first 7 days I was down 10lbs.

Step 2: High protein, low calorie,  low carb. This is the name of the game. Once you ditch the intentional carbs (there are carbs in almost anything, it's the obvious ones you need to avoid) any other changes seem fairly small. Chicken and Fish are your best friends. They are lean in fat, contain high protein values, and low calorie. Red meat is good as long as it is grass fed, but this should be occasional.

Step 3: Cut the dairy, and low sodium. Salt is the enemy. So is anything that will plug you up. Dairy is awesome. High calcium, and cheese taste so AMAZING. Problem: it plugs you up. You need a decent amount of fiber in your day, or a great probiotic. Supplements are good, just be sure that they are all natural. Salt helps you hold things in your body. Get away from it. If you can ditch the majority of the sodium, you will be better off.

Step 4: Purchase 1 ingredient foods. This means money. Sorry folks. But if you're overweight you didn't get there by purchasing 1 ingredient foods. You got there by purchasing the crap that every major retailer peddles. Get rid of it. High sugar contents, and some even contain GMOs which are Toxic to the body. Your meal may have several ingredients, but it should come from 1 ingredient foods that you create. I made Chipotle sweet potato tacos with kale slaw. All 1 ingredient items to make that. Trust me, you need to know what you're putting into your body.

Step 5:  WATER. You must drink water. Water is another BFF. At least 120oz a day. It keeps your body from mistaking dehydration and hunger. It purifies, it cleans, and once you start it's hard to stop drinking it.

Step 6: Weigh in once a week. On the same day, right in the morning after using the bathroom. Document everything. Be honest about your weigh ins and keep tracking on the fitness pal app. It is vital to notate your ups, your downs, your accomplishments, and your room for improvements.

Step 7: Get in the gym 5 days a week for at least an hour. Can't get to the gym? Get to the park. Bike, skate, run, jungle gym, get ACTIVE.

Once you hit the 1200 mark, hold on tight. The weight will fall off without you realizing. No weekly cheat day until you have surpassed the 90 day mark. This is seriously for your own good. If you must eat out. Eat smart. If you don't, your body will know it and go on strike. You do not want your body to go on strike.

It is equally important to stay motivated. Just like an addict, don't put yourself in positions to fail. Don't attend buffet night with your buddies, or a taco festival. Be smart. Stay motivated. Follow fitness gurus on instagram. Sign up to receive free healthy recipes, and talk to the people in your home about it. It's always better if you have people in the house with similar or same fitness goals.

Last but not least, do not gloat on social media. Do not tell people what to do either. The first year is show and prove. It's ok to post progress pictures every 6 months. Any more frequent than that is just plan annoying and people will look at you as if you are on a very high horse riding into town. Trust me.

Good luck. Here are some progress pics so you know that it works, and this is with no fad diets!

VP Shunt

This weekend has been less than favorable. My wife was admitted to the hospital on Friday for severe head, neck, and back pain. They finally did the right tests to conclude that there is a problem with her shunt that was put in last December. For months she has been complaining of abdominal pain around where the tubing was placed. The neuro teams told her that she was fine; imagining the pain. Here we are 9 months later and she has bacteria in her lumbar puncture, a blockage in her shunt tubing, and infection. This is not a good case scenario. I cancelled our flights to Denver. I am just plain terrified for what can happen to her.

We need prayer. We need the support to get through this. I need my wife. Please Lord, let me keep her.

To my Family:

I love you. Thanks for holding me down. Thanks for loving me. Loving us. Just over a week before my wife's birthday and I can't help but to give her a shout out. I love your patience, your kind nature, your smile, your laugh, your sense of humor, your sexy. I am just so lucky to have you. I love you baby mama!

Lou

A Writer's Dream

As I look back on life I always wonder if there is missed opportunity. Should I have been a lawyer? An author? A fashion designer? A poker player? I wish that I could lead several career opportunities. Don't get me wrong, I love my job, and I love my field. I really wouldn't change it for the world. However, there are times that I wish I would have ventured deeper into other opportunities. I feel like I am an idea fountain that is rarely tapped. I feel like I am constantly coming up with ideas that would be great for one field or another. The other day I brought an idea to a friend in the travel industry. For those of us who are a little more financially independent and not set on any specific destination for travel, this idea is for us. I know the market is smaller than most, but the idea has potential. I have ideas for books, poker fashion, even a poker drink/snack pack. Don't get me started.

This year Darlene and I have seriously worked so very hard on becoming more financially free. In 2015 alone we paid off more than 20k worth of debt. AND we got married and honeymooned in the Caribbean. If that's not a major accomplishment, then I don't know what is. If all goes right, we will kick another 20k worth of debt by April. I am praying this goes by then. That means we are in the perfect position to not only purchase a home, but to start growing a bigger family too. Sign us up!

Life is hard. Things get tough. I know one this is real and true; I have the best wife out there. She is constantly there to pick me up or motivate me when I need it. She is always keeping me on my toes and ensuring that we stay on track. She gives me the freedom to make financial decisions and loves that it's my passion. I'm just so thankful for her. She really hold me down. She loves God too. What a woman I have. Someone who loves God, is fearful, yet faithful. Thank you Jesus for my wife.

This Friday marks one 9 days before my wife's birthday. While I am trying to remain consistent with posting I am also trying to ensure that her birthday is in order for our trip. We need prayer. We need Support. We need love. Pray that we achieve our goals. Pray that we stay strong in God and pray that we don't stray from the path He designed for us. Praise be to God. Today I woke up and spoke to Him, and to you. :)

Happy Friday.

Lou

Fat and Unhappy

Dearest Lou,
It's January 14, 2015 and you had a realization today. You are fat. Please don't be confused. I don't mean this to tear you down like many have before. What I mean is, you have done nothing to progress your life and your body. You have left it out to hang, and seem to not care about that. What's up? Do you care about your body? Your life? Your life quality? Expectancy? Since when did inhaling whatever food you wanted become a thing for you to do? You were a champion. A goal getter, an achiever, a beast. Now look at you. Your 8 year old wants to play ball, and you can't. Your 8 year old wants to drag you all around Disneyland and you can't. Your back hurts. Your feet hurt. You're tired. You feel old. You're 29. Did you think that 29 would feel like 60?

You've abused me. Filled me with chemicals, processed foods, unnatural preservatives, and ate in excess. Why are you doing this to me? What did I do? I'm so sorry! For whatever it is that I have done to make you do this to me. Please don't make me consume those things a day longer. I feel like I am dying. I feel like I can't breathe. I feel like I can't move, can't walk, can't do anything. I'm out of breath from a flight of stairs. Will my heart give up and just explode? Will I clog my valves with too much junk and collapse. Please. I'm sorry. Please don't make me do this any longer. I've treated you well in the past, what has changed? Did I say something to upset you? Do something to make you treat me with such hate? Please make this stop. I have headaches every single day. My esophagus burns from the acid. I am taking medications on a daily basis just to relieve this pressure. It's not stopping only masking it. My chest hurts. Why aren't you listening to me? I've told you for a week now. What if I stop beating? What if I forget? What if I am too tired?

Listen, this is not to hurt you. Only to help you see. That without me, there is no you. Without my beating you will not walk. You will not see. You will not chase and play. You will not love. You will not hold. You will not be. Do you hear me?  Are you listening? What's with this food? What are you doing? Please make this stop!!!

Sincerely,
Your Body







Dearest Body,

I'm a terrible listener aren't I? When was the last time we actually spoke? What's it been? 10 years. I'm sorry. I've been too busy dealing with myself to even think to listen to you. You're right. I have not been a good owner. I have deprived you of the things you need to sustain life. I have slowly tried to kill you without even realizing it. I stand in front of a mirror today saddened by what I have done to you. You didn't do anything to deserve this! Really! You've done nothing wrong. You have done things right. You've warned me. Talked to me. At least tried, and I have failed you. I'm so sorry. You deserve someone better than this. Someone who wouldn't downplay all the athletics you have given me. All the motivation and ability. You are so right.

Today on January 15, 2015 I stand on a scale weighing 280 pounds. I have been this weight for more than 5 years. And today. On January 15, 2015 will be the last day that I am ever this weight. I will no longer fill you with processed foods. I will no longer binge eat to fulfill a need that is not present. I will fill you with items that sustain life, not drain it. I will treat you the way that you deserve. I will treat you with respect. I will treat you like you deserve because you are worth it! I want to play with my 8 year old kid. I want to teach her to run and jump. I want to be an amazing active co parent to a great kid, and I want to be a better partner for my deserving wife to be. This is all OVER. I am not going to pretend like you deserved this. YOU DO NOT DESERVE THIS. You deserve everything. And you are right. Without you, there is no me. I will treat you like that moving forward. Forgive me. For not listening. I am listening now, and will be forever.

Sincerely,
Lou





Happy 6 months of no garbage. Love your body. Without a healthy one, there is no you. This morning marked 53.4 pounds lost. It's been 6 months since Darlene and I started, and I am not stopping now. Let this be a motivation. I am no longer a sad sack of I don't care what I eat. I am a champion, and I refuse to be anything less than that.

. Be good. Be blessed. Be you. I love you Darlene! Thanks for supporting me through all of this, and being my work out partner, my meal planner, my amazing Wife to be!

Final Friday

Hello Happy Friday!


Good morning! This week has been super duper crazy for me! I am really happy that the weekend has arrived. I am excited to not have anything to do this weekend. Although I was not very diligent with my laundry doing, it will be nice to have minimal things to do this week. Darlene and I are about to begin an active search for our home. We are hoping that it will bring motivation to us. Living like you're broke, when you're not really all that broke is pretty difficult. I continue to reassure her that we are doing the right thing. I think by scoping some homes, and maybe even driving by them will make it real for the both of us. Show us some light at the end of our money saving tunnel. It's hard to sacrifice. We are trying so hard. I'm lucky that she came into a bonus or my last harrah as a 29 year old in Vegas wouldn't have been a possibility. I really have the best life partner. She's so good to me. She cares, and goes above and beyond to make sure I am happy.

Today will be a little bit of fun. My Father is going to pick  up from school today. This is a first, so we will go together to get her once I am off of work today.  needs a positive and consistent male influence. I think my Dad can deliver that for her. He's such a good man. I am just so seriously lucky to have such a great family. My Mom included. She is so loving, and full of advice. She knows where my heart is, and she knows what to say and when to say it. I hope that I can show her how much I appreciate her. Maybe one day I'll hit the lottery and build her a house and take care of her. She deserves so much. Both my parents do. They are such good people, and I am so blessed to have been raised the way that I was.

The funny thing about getting older is that you think about things that you would have never thought about before. I want to own a home. I need to. What will have if we rent forever? We would like a really nice house so that can someday own it and be proud of it. I am always asking myself who is going to take care of me when I am older? Darlene always tells me that she is. I laugh because she has so many obstacles. She had brain surgery at the end of 2014. That was so scary for me, I can't imagine what she must have felt. I was physically ill in the hospital. I was sick with worry. I don't know what I would do without her. She is my heartbeat. I want to take care of her, and I want us to be taken care of when we get older. The thought of having more kids is kind of far out. It would be so difficult. Maybe adoption is in our future. Give a kid who needs love and support, a home to grow in and be loved. That's something we have been thinking on for the past year.

This March marks the 3 year anniversary of the passing of my friend Sabrina Blackie. She had leukemia. She fought so hard. Worst part, it wasn't even the leukemia that made her pass on. She caught pneumonia in one of the hospitals she was going to for treatment. The cancer had spoiled any opportunity of her immune system kicking her back into shape and she passed away. It was a shock for so many since she was posting just the day before about how she was feeling better. It was probably one of the toughest funerals and dealings that I have ever had to deal with. Sabrina and I knew each other since we were 19. We lived together for over 6 years. She was my best friend. We had a falling out over a stupid argument and we didn't squash things until a few weeks before she passed away. It has been a reminder for me to never argue or hold grudges with important people over petty things. I cant even recall the argument we had. It's foolish, and I missed memories
holding a grudge. It's a life lesson that I will never forget. I miss her so much.  For the past 2 years my friends and I get together and send off Orange (leukemia color) balloons that include written messages on them. Sometimes I feel her with me. It's a nice feeling. There are so many that miss her so very much.

This weekend we have planned to the lake with the other kids that we know. There is an event being held to teach how to canoe, how to use a fishing pole, and even archery. The dogs have life vests, and may attend also. We like to include our pups because we love them. We are checking into getting a boat even. A weekend of fishing may be in order if we can find a way to get a cheap family fishing license for the weekend. If for some reason all of that falls through we will be heading out to a Wild West Museum in Apache Junction. They have a deal right now where you buy an adult admission, and get a kid admission for free. Too good to pass up!

I am heading into a conference call for the morning. Lots of changes due to daylight savings time. I hope that you haven't been bored with all my posts. My apologies if you have been. Can you please let me know if this is what you have been looking for? I would hate to feel like I have been incomplete. I feel so honored that you and your colleagues would ask me to do a follow up. I feel very honored and blessed. Please let me know if you need anything additional.  Thanks again!!


Lou

9 Thursday

Hello Happy Thursday!!


This week has been super busy and super stressful. There is a lot going on at work with changes, and modifications to process. I am over the week already. I am excited for the weekend. I need to relax and not have anything to do. I need a stress free weekend. It seems that tasks continue to pile on as they often do at the end of the year. I am ready to not have much to do. We were so tired last night that we didn't even go to the gym. We are pretty much obligated to go since we want these changes so badly, but last night seemed to get away from us. We had homework, meal prep, house chores, laundry, and projects for our budget. We have a friend who works for a bank and is giving us some valuable tips and tools to assist us along the way. I am hoping that we can get the ball moving on the purchase of a home sooner than later. It gets tough when it looks like your plans could fall through the cracks. This morning Darlene woke up to a short pay check. While it shouldn't harm us too badly financially it is still a cause for concern. It brought back a memory for her when her wages were garnished without her knowledge. We ran through and thought of anyone she could owe money to, and the list came up empty. Also, her tax return was denied for direct deposit by our bank. It baffled the both of us. Neither of us have any idea why BofA would do that. There will be phone calls made today, and explanations required. Just one more task that needs to be completed. I am exhausted already and the day has barely begun. Wish me luck.

Thursdays are busy days of the week for us since  has stage dreams class today. We often don't get any homework done due to the day running so closely together. Her school days are long, and Thursday nights are longer. She is guaranteed to not be in bed before 9pm. Which we are not really fans of, but it is what it is.  is only 8, almost 9 years old, and she is one of those kids that needs 10-12 hours of sleep in order to function. Going to bed at 9 once a week can really throw her day off. We are lucky on Fridays though. Since her school days end at 4pm Mon-Thurs, her school days are cut short on Fridays to 1pm. This makes up for it in a way, and gives her less opportunity for required focus on less than 10 hours of sleep.


Sometimes we have to take an inventory of what we need to have, but most times we have a pulse for what is needed. is a turkey mustard and cheese sandwich fan. Lunches are pretty easy for her.  is really the only person eating bread in the house, so we only have to buy a loaf about once every 2 weeks. If there is ever a sale, we freeze a few loaves. We like to have extras for pretty much everything. Darlene and I find it super important to ensure that we are covered. We do our best to clip coupons and find the best deals for our little family. Whatever money we can save is money we don't have to worry about in the long run. I also make it a habit to label certain products to determine how long they last. This ensures that I know what we are buying, and makes it easier to swallow a price. Our laundry detergent lasts us a few days over 3 months, our shampoo about 2.5 months, dishwasher soap 4 months, trash bags 6 months. Kraft Cheese 3.5 months. It makes it easier to pay a steeper price when I can see the direct value. If something that we use on the daily basis costs for $13.99 and lasts for 3 months that means that my actual cost is $0.15 a day. Makes it easier to buy when you think of it like that. At least for me it does.

I spent some time downtown on Wednesday for a meeting. We went to the Hyatt Regency which is a pretty nice hotel out here. I captured a picture that I liked, so I thought I would share it. At one point I was an aspiring artist who wanted to do photography for a living. I have been out of practice for 4+ years now. I love buildings, power lines, the sky. I have never really taken peoples photos well. I don't have an eye for it. I almost partook in an art show about 5 years ago. I had about 150 shots narrowed down to top 50, I was ready to print. The person who was closest to me at the time shot the idea down and expressed her opinion for how unprepared I was. I took a blow that day and haven't really picked up the camera since. It's crazy how people can affect you like that. I'm really blessed that Darlene is nothing like her. Phoenix is such a great place to take photos too. Such a photogenic city. Someday I hope to have some additional time to pick up the camera. Even if I do nothing with them, I hope to do it. There are a few canvas pictures in my house that I actually shot. I am really proud of them, and someday hope that I can afford the time and money to create more.

Money is so overwhelming isn't it? You need it to be complete most things in life. I am constantly making a change to try to make things better for us. I am constantly seeking opportunity to ensure that we are stable. Sometimes I think that is simply a piece of my astrological sign. Being a Taurus means that I thrive on stability. I like consistency, but I don't like to be too repetitive. I like knowing that things are taken care of. That we will be fine if a change is made. If Darlene lost her job tomorrow, how would that affect us? How many months could we get by. If I lost my job? How soon before I am working again. I am quick to find the answers because they are important to me. I think it is something to think about. Maybe not focus on, but something in the back of my mind. Too many people live without preparation. I know too many people my age who are out spending copious amounts of money on a weekend and are dead broke on Monday. I used to live like that, and I no longer have that mentality. I want to be able to live in a financial world without having a panic attack. I would like to be a successful 29 year old who has goals and aspirations that are within reach. I don't want to be stagnant, but I also don't want to be at risk to lose everything. Make sense?

Hopefully I didn't babble too much. I hope that your Friday is going well.

Lou

Hump Day

Happy Wednesday! Happy Hump Day!- Whatever you like to call it!


Wow! This week has been so slammed for me! I think my days always get a bit thrown off if I have 100% plans on the weekend. I think the Vegas trip almost make me feel like the weekend didn't actually come. I am excited that I am at the middle of the week already, and will have an opportunity to have a weekend. We are still evaluating the canoeing trip. We need to work out some fine details to ensure is it possible. We even thought about getting a pontoon boat and doing some fishing. That would require licenses which are pretty pricey. We could purchase one that is good for a year, but who knows how often we would go. It's a toss up of whether or not it could be a good idea to purchase. Maybe we just canoe and hang out. Still deciding.


I bought 2 tires yesterday from Discount Tire. My tires are 20 inches which means that I will pretty much always pay out big bucks to have tires. Yesterday was no different. I went to discount and they wanted $420 for 2. I wheeled and dealed a bit to get it down to $340. I'm happy, but it always makes me cringe at the thought of paying so much. The one comfort I do have, is that I shouldn't need tires for at least a year since the other 2 I have aren't all that old. Maybe 1.5 years. And thanks to the system I did with the tires, I should only need to purchase 2 at a time instead of 4 at a time. Still $340 hurts. Haha. Good thing I had funds from odd jobs to make it happen without actually touching my bank account.

My oldest Godson came over yesterday too. He's had a rough few months from not really having a place to live, no job, and not making the best decisions for his life. I try to sit him down and have a heart to heart with him. He always wants a leg up, but the problem is that he isn't 100% willing to help himself. I have given him money in the past, but he shows up a week later asking for more, and he isn't always clean. I've given him resources on rehab programs, and he says that he's trying, but I think that with a fist full of cash he will lead down the same path. So I have cut the money off for him. I'll feed him and his fiancé. Give them a ride to where they need to go, but no more money comes from me. I told him yesterday that there are ways to make money when youre in between jobs. Not some of my favorite ways, but there are ways. Donating plasma. Typically takes hours, and you only get $50. But when you have no money, that's half a week at a motel.
If they both do it. That's a full week to try to get them on their feet. Also, Labor ready. You go there early in the morning, Get work, and get paid the same day. Again, if they are both there for it, they could be on their feet quick. I want him to succeed, but I think at this point he needs to do it on his own. He has begged me to get him a hotel. I won't put my credit card or my name on anything like that. He wants me to get him a rental to drive to Louisiana. Same thing. I love him, but my name will go on nothing. It's hard to get people motivated to help themselves. I feel bad for him, but he can't stay at my house. I have an 8 year old, and a family. I know he's desperate, and don't trust him around my things at this point. It's sad to say, but it is the truth. I pray that he finds a path that he can successfully walk. --It's equally hard for me not to just help him. He's 22, and reliant on others, and drugs. He needs to rely on himself. I hope
that he knows that I do this out of love.

On other notes, this will be the pay period that I get to start saving money for my birthday! Hooray! I am looking forward to having a nice relaxing time in Las Vegas for my 30th. We have teetered with whether or not to split the time in Vegas and Laughlin. I think what I am going to do, is spend 2 night in Vegas, and the last in Laughlin. That puts us closer to Phoenix when we leave, and also keeps us in a smaller area which is nice. I am excited for the pool at the Flamingo in Las Vegas. That place is amazing, and I am excited to sip coronas and hang out. I have friends who are wanting to come too. I think that it would be awesome to rent a cabana for the day and relax in the sun. All we need to do is stay on task for the next few months and we will be able to continue with the house funds and birthday extravaganza funds too. Fingers crossed that nothing changes. I do see a potential bill in the future. Darlene's mom has a nice little Honda Fit, but it
is giving her some trouble. I have a really great mechanic who is a wiz and finding the problem, and making things affordable. We will likely take her car to him. If she can't cover all the charges, Darlene and I will likely help her out. Her mom has had some rough financial struggles over the years, and we are trying to help her get on her feet. Before Darlene and I moved in together her mom was staying with her rent free to pay off bills. She now lives in an apartment about a mile away from our home, and lives with Darlene's brother. That lease is ending in May which means she will need to save money in order to pay for some deposits at a new apartment. We paid the current deposit on the apartment and are hoping to get the majority of it back so that we aren't paying too much for another deposit. Fingers crossed.

Today will be a cleaning day for me. Once I am off of work I will be picking up where I left off last night and trying to get the house spic and span. I really love to have a clean house. I don't have much time to do it anymore since we have been so busy. This will be an opportunity to get some things done with an empty house. This means I get to blast the radio, and clean to my hearts content. I am hoping to get more than half way done before I have to go and get  from school. I am hoping to handle the house, and the back porch/back yard. I definitely have some projects that need completing. We are hoping to get everything done by the weekend. It's really nice to have the weekend be an actual weekend instead of 2 days that are used to fix what you didn't do during the week. I would rather lounge in my clean sheets and robe on the weekend then spend it doing laundry and cleaning. I have better things to do. Like lounge, go to a museum, spring
training game, even family movie night. I would much rather do that.

Last night was gym and food related. We went to the gym and put in 30 minutes of cardio. Came home and started cooking. I made about 8 chicken breasts, and some steam veggies. This will help up with staying on track throughout the rest of the week. No excuses to be hungry and eat garbage. There's something pre made so no excuses for us. It's really helpful as many times I am hungry when coming home from work. It feels like I almost need a second lunch. Having tuna or grilled chicken on hand curbs that hunger for me and ensure that I am not eating empty carbs (carbs with no protein or fiber). So I am off to the rest of my day. I hope that all is well with you. I have heard that the weather is crazy almost everywhere. Hopefully you aren't seeing that too bad. Have a great rest of your week!


Lou

Tuesday Tuesday

Happy Tuesday!


This week has proven to be so very busy for my household. Yesterday was go go go until around 630PM. Then we hit the gym, dinner, and straight to bed. Tomorrow will be a later day for me, but a good day. an 8 hour as opposed to a 14 hour day. Yesterday was a big homework day. We looked all through homework together to find one page of her homework only to find it in her book. We all felt like we were going crazy. We are doing our best to teach  about organization and how to remain that way. She has a hard time doing that since she has not been held very accountable. At her last school they would send home a homework packet instead of books, and worksheets. This year has brought on many changes for  We try to slow the adjustment phases down, but it is just so hard. That's how it goes though. We are looking forward to the Summer since it will be a nice break for everyone.

Over the Summer we typically put in a city program type camp. They do tons of activities over the course of the Summer. Some activities are arts related, others interactive and sports. It really is a great program. She loves it too. She can get there early in the morning, eat lunch there, play all day, then come home. She needs the social interaction, and we are working very hard on maintaining friendships. I think that these camps help quite a bit. Fingers crossed to finding some forever friends for my kiddo. She sure deserves them. Darlene and I were saying that once we move into a newer and better neighborhood we can have more kids around for  to play with. We are definitely in need of more involvement with kids.

Tomorrow is going to be a better day. We have nothing really happening which is super nice. I am always excited to have an easy day! Like most I am always just ready to relax. There are times when I wish that life could be easier, but then I remember that goals aren't really worth having if everything is handed to you. Sometimes I do need time to sit back and reflect. Vegas was a nice way to do that even if it was for a short weekend. I sometimes feel like I need a nice week at a beach with Darlene. Just for us to keep in connection and to have a worry free weekend. No friends, no family, maybe even a kid free weekend where we can just be. Maybe someday. Fingers crossed.


The weather has been increasingly warm which makes me look at the budget more and more. always trying to be one step ahead when it comes to our bills and planning. I am thinking that I will soon need to make adjustments to our utility payments to ensure that we are fully covered for the months ahead. I may make some adjustments this afternoon. As you already know I have a habit of going in there multiple times a day to ensure that I am on point with all that I do.


I am hoping that all is well. See you tomorrow!

Lou

Plans on a Friday

Happy Friday!
Thank you for your kind words! It's really appreciated.

Friday always seems to be the best day of the week, and that is because it is. The whole house was up late last night. We have the youth theatre on Thursday nights. Although it pains us to have  up that late, it is totally necessary since she loves it so much. We would rather her reach for her dreams than be held back due to her bed time. 1 night a week I think is ok to go astray from bedtime. She fell asleep pretty fast once we got home, but it was about 930p. This is pretty late for me too. I have to be up at 415a. That's the "hustle or you'll be late" alarm too. This morning we shared a vehicle. I dropped mine off at the mechanic shop to have a brake job done, and possible some belt work. So today, Darlene and I will carpool. We are lucky. She gets off of work at 1pm on Fridays. I am off at 130p so we get to spend part of the afternoon together.

Today is the flower check pick up. Hooray! Even though the money is practically spent, it's still nice to have things paid for. Speaking of money. A new company took over one of Darlene's student loans. We have been waiting for a payment to come out of our checking account for the regular monthly payment, and it has sat in there since the 15th. We are baffled since there was no communication up until yesterday. I spent 30 minutes calling between both agencies trying to determine if it was real, and also what will happen to the past payments, interest rates, tax returns, and what not. It seems that no one really knew what was going. That's never fun for me. I got sent to this woman's voicemail 4 times. Makes me leery to setup a new payment plan when no one can answer my questions. IF this new company did purchase her student loan from the previous company, the good news will be that the payment is lower than the last one. Both interest wise, and monthly payment. Only time will tell as I left them a voicemail to call me back. Either way, no funds are moving out of our account until we find a solid answer. The last thing I want to do is transfer money, then have it debited. No thanks.

I got to spend some time with my Dad yesterday. We don't get to hang out too often. I needed a ride back from my mechanic shop. He was nice enough to trail me and bring me home. We talked a little about my financial future and mine and Darlene's plan to buy a home. My Dad and I are on a "don't ask don't tell" kind of basis. I have never officially came out to him, but he knows that I'm gay. He knows that Darlene and I are together, and that is likely his only shot at a grandchild. It's tough to talk to him about most things because I don't know what his reaction will be. I need to tell him that I'm getting married in 6 months. I would rather him hear it from me, as opposed to a wedding invitation. I am making efforts to bring him around the house more often too. It's tough because our lives have been so busy. We always have a project, task, or chore that makes us somewhat unavailable. Recently he has offered to spend time with . He sees that she doesn't have much of a male influence in her life. She has 2 moms, a Grandma, and loads of Aunts. She had 2 Uncles. Robbie (Darlene's brother) lives here, but he really isn't all that involved in  life. Don recently passed away in 2014. He was a big deal to everyone. A truly great man. He was  2nd Uncle, he lived in Wyoming. He played for the Green Bay Packers in the 90's as their punter. He still holds the record for the longest punt in the Rose Bowl too. He was a really sweet man, he loved  to pieces, and his passing was really unexpected. My Dad sees a need for a role to be filled, so he is willing. It tells me that he knows and cares about our situation and wants to make it better. It gives me encouragement that he will accept all that I need to tell him.

Yesterday I received a CEO headlines in my inbox. These are notifications from our CEO on up and coming events and what not. It's not official, but it looks like we will be getting rid of our pension plans. They were started late 2013, and while popular, there aren't many people who actually understand what they are. I'm thinking that there will be an option for a cash out at some point in the year. Decisions to be made. This will be a tough one since there will be a few good options for it. I know for sure that I won't keep it at it's current status. If it were to be frozen and available for my retirement it won't be worth half of what it is today in 30 years. Currently inflation runs about 3-5%. If it's only 3% that makes my inflation rate 45% change based on market rate. I could never let that money sit there (not collecting interest) and not do anything with it. My temptation would be to cash out the pension (since it would count as income) would not throw me into another tax bracket, which is great news for me if I want to cash it out. Early withdrawal from pension plans runs at a 10% penalty. + 25% on taxes, so I would take about 2/3 home. This could be great seeing as how it is better than a 45-50% decrease, and seeing as how I didn't technically fund that account in any way. It would be especially nice since we are trying to purchase a home. This could be a nice security blanket. On the flip side, I would love to transfer it into a Roth IRA. This would mean it would continue to gain interest, and grow post tax. This means my funds would be legit. No taxes taken out at retirement. I definitely have some thinking to do. This will be a tough one. Sometimes my heart says that I need to live for today since tomorrow is not guaranteed. That makes me want to take the money and use it on our house. The other part of me says that I don't want to be a Wal-Mart greeter when I'm 70. Who knows. Wish me luck!

Fingers crossed today too that my mechanic bill isn't too high. I definitely don't want to pay a ton of money. I still need to buy tires, so I am hoping the bill won't make me queasy. Lots to do this weekend. Get my car, post to eBay, hit IKEA for some dresser parts. Paint my table, the final addition to my black and red chairs, spray week killer, clean up the back yard, all while entertaining an 8 year old, and fiancé. I'm just excited to lay in bed. We really deserve it. It's been a long tasking week. I was barely motivated to work out last night. I did a bit of running on the treadmill, some weights, and the sauna. Normally I am a cardio champ, but I was exhausted last night. Hopefully I can find a stream of energy once all the tasks from a Friday afternoon are complete. I hope that you all have a great weekend. Let me know if you need anything from me.

Lou

Evastin

Good morning!

Happy Thursday! Last night was a tougher night for my house. Darlene has monthly eye appointments that are always stressful for her and I. In 2009 she began to lose vision in her left eye. She began to see spots missing in her vision. Unfortunately she did lose 90% vision in her left eye. She now has only some peripheral vision, but not good enough to read from or watch TV. She also had a stroke in 2012. She was only 28 at that time. In 2014 we began another journey of eye appointments because her right eye was having the same signs that her left eye had once shown. On a monthly basis, Darlene and I head to a Doctors office for her to be examined, photos taken, and eventually a shot of Evastin to her eye. Yup. A needle in her eye. This shot is supposed to slow and cease inflammation which causes scar tissue from forming. If the meds fail, Darlene could be completely blind before she even gets to turn 32. I can't even begin to tell you how scary that is
for her. It's super scary for me, so I cannot begin to imagine how she feels. She really is just so brave. She gets these shots, and you think, if you had to, you could do it. But as an on looker, it always looks so much more simple than it really is. These shots usually wear her out. She's not really all that functional for the remainder of the day. I pray every morning that we have the best Doctors, and specialists, and that God heals Darlene. I like to take my drive into work and plead with God. Thank Him for blessing us, and thank Him for health insurance, Doctors, nurses. I'm not perfect. I'm not a model Christian, but I absolutely believe that God works. I pray that He heals Darlene every morning. She deserves at least 1 good eye to see grow. Besides, I shouldn't be relied upon to do hair for Proms when she gets older, I'll never be forgiven haha.

Today will also be a day that I drop my car off at my mechanic. The last time I had my brakes done he told me that I would also need to have my rotors replaced the next time I came in. Since I am getting paid for my courier work on Friday, I am going to take the SUV in to get worked on. Better to pay for it when you have extra money, then to HAVE to pay for it when you may not. Just my opinion. Brakes, rotors, crank shaft, oil change, and maybe a serpentine belt. Preventative maintenance is the name of this game this week. I would much rather take care of it now, then have to bring it in when it breaks. I have gotten really lucky **knocking on wood** and have not had to have any major repairs done. I did have to have the catalytic converter replaced, however, I was still under warranty so it cost me nothing. I have a really reliable mechanic. I trust him, and I think he does honest work. For that, I will continue to use him and refer him when I know
people need work done. Being 1 car down is never fun, but I would rather choose it and be prepared then have to scramble.

I did some courier work yesterday for the flower shop. Every now and again they will call me with 15 or so orders to complete in town. I pick them up when I can. I would rather have the money on the side, then not. Since I knew I was making an extra $90, I purchased some Big Surf tickets on Groupon. Typically over the Summer you pay $30 a ticket to get in. That's pretty steep in my opinion, but this week on Groupon they are 50% off which means $15 a ticket. That's a great deal especially since  loves to go. I picked up 4 tickets so we could take her this Summer with a friend. Nice weekend reward. It also means that we won't have to pay regular admission later which is awesome. If I see museum passes or a cool event or outing I do try to pick them up if they are affordable. Even though Darlene and I have locked the budget down, it doesn't mean that I want the entire house to catch cabin fever. So, I would rather sacrifice some extra money that could
have gone to a vacation or the house fund to ensure that we have a weekend of good fun.

My upbringing was very different from Darlene. My parents took my sister and I on a major road trip every Summer. I had a set of Grandparents in Arkansas and a set in West Virginia. We would travel from California out to both locations. My Dad would take an entire month off to take us. It was very memorable for me. I've seen most of the USA thanks to all the traveling we did. I want the same for . Although I cant see us piling into a car and driving across the country. We have made a trip or 2 to Las Vegas. For us, it's only a 4 hour drive. I almost went crazy. I clearly do not have the patience that my parents had. It's not  fault. I'm just one to want to be on the road when we get on the road. wants to stop at every stop. Pause the radio every 30 seconds with a new question, or asking if we are there yet after 20 minutes in the car. Oh man, my parents were patient people. They also had high expectations for me. My sister is a great woman, very kind hearted, and sweet. She is 4.5 years older than I am, and has a learning disability. I have been the oldest youngest (if that makes sense) since I can remember. My parents trust me with their affairs, and I am the kid who gets called when something goes wrong. It does not bother me in any way shape or form. But it does mean lots of pressure for me. This means as a kid I was responsible at an early age. I was expected to make my bed, clean my room, brush my teeth, brush my hair, and handle daily chores without having to being asked. I have the same expectations for. She's so smart, but sometimes kids don't like to do those things, and its hard being the only enforcer since Darlene's upbringing was much more free than mine. She was allowed to go over to a friends house without notification, was allowed to have a dirty room. Her and I differ very much in those aspects. At times we clash as parents with  but we find the medium and hope that  turns out to be a smart and successful adult. I don't want her to grow up too fast like I did. Its tough because as a parent, you want to do everything right. Which is impossible; but we are doing our best to raise a smart little girl.

We push forward as we get to the end of the week. Friday brings just as many plans. Fingers crossed that my car is finished by Friday or Saturday. I'm sure it will be. Friday will be payday for the courier work, and also a day that Darlene and I play in a tournament in Maricopa. Harrah's is a casino that is about 45 minutes away from where we live. We like to go on Fridays because the offer us $10 in comps that can be stored on our players cards. This means that when we go to Las Vegas in May we should have around $200 to spend on whatever we want. This could mean a fancy dinner, a buffet pass, even shopping. Either way, we are down for the comps since they can do so much. They can even pay for a room upgrade. Not to mention we get to play in a poker tournament. A good one too. The only unfortunate thing is their location. They are the only casino out here that links to Casinos in other cities. We can travel almost anywhere with Harrahs, unlike the Gila
River Casinos. They are worth the drive, but the drive is hefty!

I hope that you are having a fantastic week.

Lou

Words on a Wednesday

Good morning,


Happy Wednesday!

Here we are half way through the week. It feels like the times are really dragging for me! When I go to get something done, I find myself running out of time. Yesterday I spent some time at Bookman's - similar to a Barnes and Noble. They have many books there, even games, and comics. I went there in search of a book for my 8 year old. Raynie - even though is outgoing, she struggles to maintain friendships. When asking, "is he or she your friend?" The reply I get is often, "I dunno." Then I ask the 50 questions that all parents ask, which includes, "are you nice to each other? Are you mean to each other? Do you speak to each other" --Raynie always says, "I dunno. I guess." Which never really fully answers my questions. So once I was off of work yesterday I went to Bookman's in search of a friendship book for kids. Something we can read at night. Darlene is the story teller, so I figured I could find a book on maintaining friendships. Great idea right?!?
Well- let me say that there are many "How To" books, and none that I could find about maintaining friendships. I spent 2 hours in that store reading title after title. The store is not nearly as organized as a Barnes and Noble so I was stuck searching on my own. I did however find books on " how to teach your kids to tie a bowtie" - surprisingly, this book was over 100 pages. Who knew? I also found books on "how to teach your daughter to stop drinking and driving." - "How to teach your daughter to cross her legs" "How to teach your daughter how to be glamorous" "How to teach your daughter that Mom is right" "Dealing with no Dad" "Dealing with 2 moms" --The list could go on. I found How to's on cooking, cleaning, chores, hair ties, dress, make up, even pooping. Nothing on friendship. I have had to resort to amazon where I found a book that looks promising. Hopefully I won't have to wait forever to receive it. --Do you remember when we met I talked about how impulsive I was? It's super real for me. If that books doesn't come pretty much immediately I will be searching book stores for alternative titles. Ah, the live of the impulsive thinker and doer.

Darlene and I spent time at the gym together last night. It was a cardio kind of night which meant that there wasn't really room for talking. She's not as motivated as I am about the life change, but she remains accountable in going through the motions. She's honest about it too which I appreciate. She admitted to me yesterday that she ate a blueberry muffin. Definitely not blasphemy, but I did ask how many calories it was- 270 for a palm sized muffin. When we were in the gym we were working on an elliptical machine. This machine is called a Cybex. While soft on the joints, it definitely works you over to get a good work out. When we reached 300 calories burned, she turned to me with a beat red face, and sweat dripping down her, and said "there's my muffin!" - I turned to her and said, "Now is it worth having?" Which of course is no. Her and I laughed about it while panting over our machines. We talk about worth a lot in our lives. Is it worth owning? Is it worth handling it this way? Is it worth the sweat to eat a 4 bite muffin? I think together we come to realizations daily. She keeps my head on the ground, and I hopefully do the same for her. Even though she admits to not being as motivated, she absolutely goes through the motions to ensure our success. Meal prepping and planning, keeping an organized kitchen. She does a great job. I just love her so much.


Today I will likely spend 30 or more minutes staring at the budget. Last month we went through all of our bills to determine what could be cut down. I called our utilities companies who offered to put us on an equalizer, but I would much rather pay the bill as is. I am often placing credits on the bill anyways, and would rather deal with that. Consistency is not always better. When it's December and I practically have no electric bill, I would rather take the utility money and plan part of a vacation, or take a day trip. So utilities were out. We do limit our usage between 12p-7p since that is the plan that we are on though. Even during months like this, we wait to do laundry to keep cost down. Next was my car payments. We skipped those too as that would mean refinancing. Although I am certain we could potentially get them reduced, I do not want to make any credit changes when we are months away from home shopping. Next came internet and cable. I was able to have our bill reduced to next to nothing. I qualified for a loyalty plan which took my costs from $160 monthly to $60 monthly. This includes, cable, internet, and DVRs. It's a killer deal. Most companies will eat cost to keep a paying customer I have learned. Same with my Verizon bills. We went from $180 a month to $110. For 2 IPhones, data plans, and unlimited talk and text, that's a pretty killer deal. We even combined our car, and renters insurance. That bill went from $220 to $165. We are trying to save where we can. A penny saved is a penny earned someone once said. I believe that to be true. If only coupons came in the mail for actual bills like rent and utilities. That would be awesome.

Today will be the day of checking stock piles. We recently made a run of deodorant and shampoo. I noticed yesterday that we only have 1 tube of toothpaste. I love the Colgate Optic white. While not totally expensive, I still try to get it cheaper than retail. We often shop on amazon, or go the Colgate website to see if they are offering rebates or coupons. When 1 item runs out, there are normally 2 to follow. I need to determine what we are low on, so that we can prepare a shopping list. We always attempt to get the big items out of the way in the beginning of the month. We use Costco for most household items. Toilet paper, paper towels, trash bags, shampoo, conditioner, dish soap, and of course groceries. It's nice to be able to go through the entire month and not worry about having even paper products or food. Same with toiletries. We try to get those purchases out of the way if we can. Most times, online is the way to go.

That's going to be one of my many plans tonight. The others will include spraying weed spray. We got a few showers of rain yesterday. This normally means that the weeds will be sprouting up in the front and back yard. Even though I have a landscaper who can come at anytime, it is much less expensive for me to purchase a $12 bottle of weed spray and try to hold off on calling him. Other plans will include cleaning off my back porch, moving some bikes into storage as they are not being used, and storing the other bikes inside the house. I definitely don't want anything to rust. I have also noticed that I have way too much patio furniture. haha. So this means a yard sale may be up and coming. Yard sales are a great way to clean house and make money. Not to mention, the weather is absolutely right for that. I will have to talk to Darlene about it. She is my yard sale champion. She's bilingual in Spanish, which makes yard sales easy. I have had them before
without her and I often get stuck in communication. She swoops in and takes over. It's nice.

Hope you're having an awesome Wednesday. I am off to a conference call. Enjoy the weather if you are still in Phoenix!



Lou

Blowin up on A Tuesday

Good Morning,


Last night was fairly uneventful. We did talk about birthdays.  and I share a birthday month. May. Which is one of the wrong months to have a birthday in Phoenix. Ha! It's too hot! Last year we had a mediocre turn out to her birthday, and that was mainly due to the heat. This year we hope that a water theme park will attract kids to coming. She is into TMNT and Minecraft this year. What this means for Darlene and I, is that no matter which one she chooses, the party colors will be green and black. OR black and green. How lucky are we? We already purchased green and black table cloths, so 1 small part down. 15 to go! We are lucky since Grandma is a baker. We never have to worry about cakes for birthdays. Custom cakes delivered to the door. Never a bad day.

We finalized my birthday too. We are going to spend 2 night in Laughlin NV, and 1 night in Las Vegas NV.   So far, I have spent my major birthdays in Las Vegas. 21, 25, and soon to be 30. I would like to keep the tradition going as it is my favorite. Laughlin is great for poker. Better players in my opinion. Laughlin is an older crowd. It's only 3.5 hours away from Phoenix, and the poker is awesome. Not to mention we haven't had to pay for a room in Laughlin in 4 years. Never a bad day with that. I am excited. We will be coming off of a flower weekend. We will deliver flowers all weekend, then head out to Laughlin at the end of the day. It's like hard work meets the road to fun.

I bought Darlene some roses the other day. Just a reminder that I appreciate all that she does. She has always been really good at expressing how she feels, She makes it a point to have her opinion known. When it comes to big financial goals, I get lucky and she is just as motivated as I am. I have not always been so lucky with that, and I love that she is on task. It was hard last night because part of me didn't want to go to Laughlin or Vegas for my birthday because I saw it as an avenue to derail funds for the house. She puts me back into perspective. --"You only turn 30 once Lou. We are going." Which is true. Life is short. We should have fun. We can have both. A house and a big birthday.


I am launching new software systems at work today, so this one will be shorter than the others. Please let me know if I have fallen off the of the tracks of what you want to know. I hope that everyone is having a great week!!

Lou