This is How I asked Nina to be my girlfriend.

IF YOU READ EVERYTHING IT'S PRETTY FUNNY. I DID DELETE MY ADR AND PHONE NUMBER. SORRY.

My Dearest Nina,

Today I am submitting my application to be your girlfriend. I pray that I am a suitable candidate for such an important position. I hope that you review both my resume and my application. I look forward to hearing your answer. Please feel free to call, email, or even text your answer as soon as you review the information about myself listed below. Thank you and have a wonderful evening. I love you deeply.

Love,
Fatty



My application:

APPLICATION FOR THE POSITION OF GIRLFRIEND

Nina Mackenzie, inc. is an equal opportunity employer, dedicated to a policy of non-discrimination in girlfriendhip on any basis including race, color, grammatical ability, life goals, Christian denomination, favorite ice cream, or any other basis prohibited by federal, state, or provincial law.

Please complete the entire application to ensure processing.
1.1 PERSONAL INFORMATION (Please print)

Name Last First Middle Date (M/D/Y)

Hanemaayer Louisa Marie 4/6/08

Other names you are known by Fatty

Are you less than 18 years of age? Yes __ No X

Have you been convicted of a crime in the last seven (7) years? Yes X No __

Present Address Street City State/Province Zip Code

123 Your Heart St Wherever we Go 69696

Phone Number (Mobile, please) Electronic Mail (e-mail) Address

602-555-5555 Hanemaayer1022@yahoo.com

1.2 EDUCATION (Please print, please note that brief education will not disqualify your employment)

Name and Address of School Years Completed Graduation Date

Please Circle (M/D/Y or N/A)

High School NUNYA HIGH 1 2 3 4X 5/03

1.3 PERSONAL DETAILS (Please print)
Please briefly explain where you see yourself later in life

I see myself in a big house with my beautiful wife, (Nina) I see myself barbequing on a beautful Saturday afternoon while the kids play in the front yard, and you (Nina) serve lemonade to everyone. I also see myself making my wife happy, and doing everything possible to do so.


Please briefly describe the meaning of life

To make Nina happy. To build a beautiful family with her, and make her want me more and more with each day that passes.


Please briefly list characteristics which you believe define you

I am funny for the most part, I love to make people laugh. I am charming when I want to be. I am a hopeless romantic. I am tough when the occasion is appropriate. And even when it’s not. : ) I am a lover. I love to take my time on my lady so that she knows just how much I care. I love to flaunt her. Not be cocky, but to let her know that I am proud to be hers.

Toe-may-toe or Toe-maw-toe? Coke or Pepsi? Twix or Snickers?

WHAT? COKE TWIX

(4\ j00Z r34D 7-15? Yes __ No __ Confused x (what is that??)

1.4 EITHER/OR (Please circle only one option)

xDriving or Riding xSleeping or Jogging xSimple or Complex Party or xSmall Gathering

Procrastination or xPromptness Alternative or xClassic Rock xBlack or Pink

Go Out or xStay In xRose or Lily Alex or xAlexander xChristmas or Easter Hot Dogs or xHamburgers

2.0 DISCLOSURE

I understand that falsifying any information previously provided in the sections 1.1 through 1.4 may result in immediate termination of girlfriendship. I understand that Nina Mackenzie, inc. may request personal interviews prior to girlfriendship. I understand that completing and submitting this form is a necessary but not sufficient requirement in the girlfriendship process. MASSACHUSETTS APPLICANTS ONLY: It is unlawful in Massachusetts to require or administer a lie detector test as a condition of girlfriendship. Any GIRLFRIENDER who violates this law shall be subject to criminal penalties of hanging by the toenails. ARIZONA AND CALIFORNIA APPLICANTS ONLY:You must approve girlfriendship from the above applicant NO MATTER WHAT.: )

Date 4/6/08 Signed____Louisa M Hanemaayer a.k.a. Fatty_____

WE ARE AN EQUAL OPPORTUNITY
GIRLFRIENDER COMMITED TO
THE PURSUIT OF MARRYING NINA



Louisa Hanemaayer
123 I'm not telling u where i live st. .
Hanemaayer1022@yahoo.com
PhoenixAZ 602-555-5555

My Objective

To assist in making Nina’s life more wonderful, magical, amazing, and loving. Other objectives include being the best girlfriend, life partner, wife, and lover that I can be.

Girlfriend Experience

1998- 1999 “Possible Lesbian”
I had my first Girlfriend in 1998. I found myself very attracted to women about this time. My duties included making cassette tapes with R&B music on them, and writing notes between classes.

2000-present “Full Blown Lesbian hood”
These years were my developmental years. I participated in a few exclusive relationships of varying time frames. A few things that I did learn are listed below:

1. I learned how to be a woman in an equal relationship and how to participate as an equal partner.

2. I learned how to cook and clean for my partner and as well as run baths for my significant other. Other educational instances included lighting candles while she bathed.

3. I also learned how to give an amazing body massage, have roses delivered to work and/or home, and attempt to surprise my significant other with romantic dinners and evenings.

Other duties that I was partaking in consisted of Volunteer work that is listed below:

1. Holding conversation with my significant others family members and friends. Some may say that this is an easy task…..in some cases I beg to differ. : )

2. Family outings. In the past I have volunteered my time, and my wallet to cater to my significant others families and friends on birthdays and special occasions.

Special Skills That I possess 1985-Present

1. I am an exceptional kisser as well as hand holder, and hair twirler (yours of course).

2. I love PDA as long as it is appropriate; I also love long walks on the beach and the kissing in the moonlight.

3. I also specialize in long phone conversations, sappy love notes, and even an occasional poem.

4. I will do almost anything to make you laugh or smile. Or laugh hysterically and almost fall over…your pick. : )

I am Seeking:

1. A woman who obtains sensitivity, love, intelligence, humor, beauty, artistic nature, a love for music, can cook, doesn’t mind doing laundry, and a romantic side.

2. A woman who wants to have a family, a woman who wouldn’t mind waking up to me every morning, wants sex at least 5 times a week, and a woman who will let me love her until the end of time.

3. I am also seeking a woman who is fearless enough to fight off female stalkers with sticks, rocks, dirty looks or dirty sticks and rocks, if necessary.

I LOVE you Nina! This took me a little more than 4 hours to do. I had to make up my own application, and Resume. I know that 4 hours is a long time to do all of this, but I wanted it to be perfect for my love. I am so glad that you enjoyed my application and resume Nina. I love you dearly. I can't wait to see you babe!!

Fatty