Disguised Weapons for sale?

hahahahahaha. Holler.

At first glance, this looks like a normal party cup. However, if you look close enough, you will see that it is really a fully automatic Glock 18C. You will be able to pour your enemies a nice warm cup of lead with this fine purchase. Asking $900 for the gun/cup combo.

This cleverly disguised weapon may look like a tissue box, but is actually a Benelli M3 12 gauge shotgun disguised as a tissue box. The ultra-soft quilted tissues serve as a comfortable grip on the pump-action shotgun. Also, if you find yourself sneezing during the heat of combat, you will have a handy tissue box ready for action. Asking $1500 for the weapon. Additional tissue boxes are an extra $5 per box.

Still thirsty for justice? Try this badass M16A2 disguised as a 24-pack of soda. The box has two finely crafted holes on each side to allow for any kind of optics (not included) that you wish to attach. This weapon is only for sale if you have a Class III permit.

Looks like a normal spoon, right?

Wrong. It is actually a deadly 2.5" half-smooth, half-serrated knife with tactical grip. One minute you are enjoying a bowl of cereal, and the next you are fighting off attackers with this deadly and disguised weapon.

Bingo

Uhh....I think someone forgot to complete the "F" on this lemon box sign. I don't think the owner of this box meant to give these away for "I-R-E-E" Hmm....one moment while I google IREE.

Google Search: International Review of Economics Education (IREE)

Hmmm....FAIL.

No Make up Huey ft. Trey Songz

Geah! I'm gangstar. Woot.

Amy and Jen's Wedding

My good friend Amy just got married this last Saturday. Her and Jen have been together for a minute, and they are so cute. Toni and I went to celebrate in this extravaganza. The wedding, the venue, the celebration was beautiful. They celebrated their union at The Wright House in Mesa AZ. BEAUTIFUL.

Toni and I scared our table off at one point. LOL We were good until the family that we were sitting with had to catch a flight home. So there we are, Toni and I at an empty table. It was hillarious. Amy even asked what happened. LOL We ended up at a table with Amy Powers, and Kim Ali. We had a blast passing around the different flavors of cake. The cake had 3 different layers, and flavors. Banana, mocha, and vanilla. All were very good. We passed them around the table to ensure we all sampled the delicious flavors.

Thanks to Amy and Jen for an awesome time celebrating. Everything was wonderful, the ceremony, delicious food, the table cards, the DJ's, EVERYTHING was great. Thanks ladies for allowing me to celebrate with you!

I make a bomb breakfast.

Maple bacon, scrambled cheesey eggs, mini pancakes with banana slices. I know I know, I'm amazing. ;) Hoot.

June bug

I could not love a cat more in this world. He is too funny. Laying crazy, getting caught in the closet, he's a freak-o. I heart him.

Jail bathroom

Why is it that Roscoe's has jail bathrooms? Toni said that it would remind me of jail. It does. Steel toilets...let me say this....even with a paper toilet seat cover, this thing is SO cold!! Nothing like feeling warm from a Jager shot, then peeing and freezing your behind. Not gonna lie, it's a confusing feeling. Holler.

Tawny

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I know it is hard to see ladies and gents, but my sister Tawny has successfully sent me the FUNNIEST picture I have seen this year. Take a gander. (ooh nice word!) Holler

Fruit Cup

I have been at my office for one hour. ONE HOUR, and have successfully dripped fruit cup on my shirt. Today is my day fo sho. Holler! Anyone have a Tide wipe?

Berries not included

Lame. I for one wanted the cheesecake because the berries enticed me. Once I read berries were not included, I was disappointed, and bought a Fro-Yo instead. Lame. Hoot

Big Bag O Fries

BIG bag O FRIES. Sweet! This should go nicely with my BIG bag O hamburgers, and my BIG bag O hot dogs...wait...do they make those? Step it up Fresh and Easy!! Woot.

A Cat Day

He plays with Deena's bras....reasoning? He's a boy?!???

So Elegant, so poised, so proper, so prim, so...furry?

What smells so bad in my car?

We recently took a trip to the lovely Las Vegas NV. It was wonderful. Good times, good friends, good stuff. So we come back, and I notice that there is a "smell" in my car. I ask Deena to try to find it while I'm at work, and she comes up with nothing. She even had Sirena search the car for the disgusting stench. Who found the stench? Do you wanna know who found it? ME.

The worst part= I wasn't looking for it. I was picking up a lighter in the backseat when I noticed this tupperware full of old chicken, lettuce, pita bread, and cheese. What smells worse than these combinations? Nothing. What was once amazing road trip food had now turned into a smelly gas chamber. I cannot stress enough just how disgusting this smell was. But if you MUST find out. Leave some chopped chicken, lettuce, pita bread, and cheese in your car (underneath the passenger seat, because if it is placed under the driver seat, the smell may not be as wonderful) for a week. Your car will obtain an unforgettable aroma. Swearsies. Woot.

phoenix

900 posts

I have 900 posts as of today, and on a cooler note. 86,000 views. Thanks people! I heart you!

Absinthe

Can you believe that they make this in gum form? For those of you who have sampled this liquor knows that it tastes like death in a bottle. Copious amounts of sugar are necessary. The gum though. Not that bad. Tastes kinda like Jager. Has that black licorice taste to it. Pretty awesome. If all else fails, I can try to get a lil tipsy off of it. Woot.

Valentines Candy

My lead gave this one to me yesterday. Look closesly. :) It's the coolest v-day candy I have ever seen. Holler.

Munchies

I know what you're thinking. What does that dark brown chip taste like? Right?

Well, it tastes like it looks. Poo. It was a well burned chip that came in this munchies pack. I was curious to see if it was on purpose or not. It was not. At all. It tasted like the crumbs on the bottom of the toaster. Not to say that I have sampled the crumbs on the bottom of the toaster, but if I had...that is how it tastes. Woot.

BFF status

You are so funny Bologna. I heart you.

Valentines Day

Valentine's Day was a blasty blast this year. We went to Las Vegas for the weekend and stayed in an awesome room at Bally's. The view was so awesome. Then when we got back into Phoenix where Deena surprised me with a candlelight dinner on our 16th floor balcony. We watched the city lights and had an amazing meal. She also made me a card. It was the sweetest ever. Once dinner was done I gave Deena a dozen orange tulips, (She loves orange) some sees candies, and suprised her with a little art project.

I bought 2 blank canvases, and the mondo sharpie set. I was going to buy paints, but realized that I have little to no artistic ability, and wanted her project to be legible. So, I pulled out the canvases, and the markers, and gave one to her, and held onto one. I told her that we had to face each other, and make a picture for the other person. No peeking. So, we sat facing each other, and made these pictures. I told her she didn't have to hang mine up, but she assured me that it would go up. :) More pictures to come on our sharpie art.

I also brought her a strawberry whip cream dish. Well, it wasn't really a dish. More like a presentation. I cut the strawberries into halves, and removed the foliage (yes foliage) and placed a glob ( I love that word) of whip cream in the middle. (See bottom picture) I also bought a bottle of champagne. I don't know a woman who loves champagne, whip cream, and strawberries more than my lady. Needless to say this V-day was sweet thanks to D. XOXO Holler.

The good egg

This place is so delicious. I would eat here everyday if it wasn't $15 for breakfast. It is REALLY good though. Their biscuits are made from heaven. Woot

My balloon flew away.

LAME.

Text from last night

(602):


you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you

V-day don'ts

Keep Our Beaches Clean

In Phoenix????

I was at the jobing arena this Thursday for the Get Motivated Seminar...These trash cans were EVERYWHERE. Be Ocean Minded...Keep our Beaches clean??? Why are they telling us? All we have are man made lakes. I guess it's reminder in case we ever venture out of this desert to a mass of water. Woot.

99 cent store

Emphasis being on “PRE-ELECTRIC” what’s it like when it’s “POST-ELECTRIC”??? These things make me wonder. No seriously though. Pre-Electric. Not that I shave my face, but would I want electric anything on my skin after shaving? I think not. Holler.

P.S. This stuff does smell very Macho. Try it! Woot!

Bowling

Who won baby? Twinkle toes! FK = Winner. Woot.

Long Wongs

Long Wongs has some of the BEST wings in all of Phoenix. For real. Not even playin. Their wings are heaven. Sirena, Jeni, Deena, and I ventured to Long Wongs this past weekend for some wing heaven. We were all very excited to get our ranch on. Except for D who does not like to eat wings that are on the bone. I get it. Sorta. But I LOVE it. So we tore that $hit up! This time I did not get sauce in my eye. Which really feels amazing. In case you were wondering.  :)

Sirena and I also used $0.50 to make us look sophisticated, debonair, handsome....ok we looked stupid, but it gave Jeni and Deena a pretty hard laugh. They were unaware of our purchase of hairy lips. They were entertained. DUH. Woot.

Landmark Towers

It started raining at 3am this morning. I woke up to a loud whistling sound. I never knew how much the wind whistled until I moved into the 16th floor of a high rise. I woke up to the rain spitting on me while I moved furniture off of the patio and into the bedroom. All the while trying not to lose my kitty outside. Good boy Junior. Woot.

Superstitious much? I didn't even realize what happened here? Do you see the problem??? Triscadecaphobia is the fear of the number 13. Many believe Friday the 13th is especially a very unlucky day. So, there are a great number of reasons why many around the globe find Friday the 13th a day, if not unlucky, a day to take notice and caution.


13 is missing. For real. Look again. 13 is seriously missing. The Towers were built in 1963. They must have been crazy superstitious back then. To not name off a 13th floor is a little nutty, even for my taste. Woot.

Super creepy. Made me seriously think about superstitions. For instance....

*If your nose itches, someone is coming to see you. If it's the right nostril, the visitor will be a female, left nostril, male.

-What? Right and left nostril have that much effect?? what if they both itch? Will a post op transexual come to my door?

*If you use the same pencil to take a test that you used for studying for the test, the pencil will remember the answers.

-Someone who is in school please test this! I wanna know!

*If you spill pepper you will have a serious argument with your best friend.

- Note to self. Don't spill the pepper. My bff is spicey!! Holler!