Soap Box

http://info.org.il/irrelevant/may02-smilepop-soapbox4.swf

Bad day at school

Ok folks, here is the next poll:::::::How did this kid get in this position???

A. He's appreciates the "new chair smell"

B. He was trying to impress a girl. (Chicks like guys in submission positions)

C. His teacher put him here after he made to many fart noises.

D. He was looking for gum. (the best gum is always found under chairs)

E. He was trying to make his own "Transfomer" costume. (Chair-Imus Prime)

Wordless Wednesday

Lizzie the Lezzy

Fresh and Easy

I went to Fresh and Easy last night to pick up some groceries. I love them, great items, great prices, and speedy check outs. The one thing that I was NOT in love with, was their bathroom process.

First, you have to have this coin to even get into the bathroom. Don't get me wrong, it doesn't cost anything, but the fact that you HAVE to have a token to get into the bathroom can be an extreme inconvenience when nature is SCREAMING at you. So, I read the door, and venture off to find a "cashier." Well, if you have ever been to Fresh and Easy you will notice that there aren't really any cashiers. It's self check out. I took the necessary pre cautions:

1. Keeping my hands secured in my pockets so that I don't hold myself and do that "I have to wee wee dance" in front of a store full of people.

2. I also browsed aisles slowly to not make myself seem desperate to find a cashier who could give me a token to use their bathrooms.

3. I even stopped to sample a cookie.

After 10 minutes,  I start signaling Deena to help me find ANYONE who works there.  To my luck a cashier crossed my path, in which I asked for a token to use the "facility." Sweet satisfaction was behind this very door.

I can only imagine how much easier it would have been to find a bush instead of running around the store wanting to make pee pants. Woot.

Toni

Not gonna lie. I totally go to Toni's page to play with her fish friends. They are called lil buddies and so much fun. thanks Tone! Holler!

Cloudy days in Phoenix

I got money to blow

All this money is still sitting in a bank account. It was supposed to be taken out on Monday (1/18/2010) but it has yet to leave my account....What if it doesn't leave? Hmm....how long do I wait before I move the money to another account and play dumb if ever asked? Woot.

Juniors Day

Is he not the CUTEST thing in the world?!?!

Big Mama

So my good buddy Tyler calls Toni Big Mama, so when I came across this account I HAD to post something. I knew that she would appreciate this. We bought her a card for her birthday too that said she was the BIG mama. :) we <3 TLB

Green!!

I saw this picture at my beloved Old Navy (the store that keeps me lookin Gangstar) and I saw this bag. It made me think of my good buddy Phillicia. Mainly because her last name is Green. I just had to entertain the thought that she was famous! She was all over old navy GGEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! Holla!

Ice Cream Slop

So apparently there is some new invention out there to prevent children and adults from spilling ice cream all over themselves. Not a bad way to make a buck right? It could potentiall be useful...let's entertain the usefelness... Is it REALLY useful?? please scroll

Example #1. Ok, I can totally see why this kid would need one of these. As cute as this kid is covered in blue ice cream, i would not want to be the one to clean him up. Not at all. For sure...but what about adults?

Survey says: Useful for Children

No need for explanation.

Survery Says: There is absolutely NO need for adults to use this product. Period.

Ok, I take back my previous statement. I did NOT mean that Adults should not use this product. I meant hot chicks starting an ice cream fight while in the club shoudln't...Everyone else. Definitely should. Holler

Puff Daddy and dollar

I wish I had this problem. I really do...actually we do have this same problem. It's odd for me to see a dollar bill in my stacks of pennies. woot. Go p. diddy show em' who's BO$$.

Bad Romance video

Egg Death in the kitchen

So...I can explain {egg police}....You see...I was just...well first I...and then....ok fine! I admit it! I wanted steak and an over medium egg. My clumsy self dropped the last egg in the carton, and this poor egg (we will call him Sammy) fell tragically to the kitchen floor making a very apparent **SPLAT** sound.

Every dropped an egg on the floor? The sound is unmistakeable. Well, Sammy did not serve a purpose on this day...other than filling the grout in between tiles with egg remains. Poor Sammy. You could have grown to be fried...or whipped...or boiled...or poached.. Such a TRAGEDY! Woot.

Geah!

http://www.therundown.tv/new-music/nicki-minaj-girlfriend/

Police Profanity

Holy cow. ANY use of profanity or foul language toward any employee of the facility will result in expulsion. Not only that, you have to bring the Po-Po with you if you want to return. That's amazing! I took this picture at Shamrock towing this afternoon. I was amazed that they were so dedicated to their employees.

I work in customer service. On the phones that is. So if these people who LOVE to curse me out because they can't pay their bills had to bring a police escort to speak with me I would be in HEAVEN. I wish we had standards like this where I work. I can only see how a conversation like this would play out:

-Me: Thanks for calling C------, My name is FK and I would be happy to assist you,  how may I help you?

-Customer: Yeah you F*ckin F*ckers messed up on my Flippy floppy doohickey you @ss munching piece of donkey lick Sh*t.

-Me: Sir, Please refrain from using profanity or foul language towards me or I will have to request that you call back with a police escort on the line.

-Customer: **Silence**

-Me: Sir? Hello? Are you still there?

-Customer: Yes ma'am, I apologize for my previous behavior, demeanor, and language. I would like to ask if you would be willing to assist me in programming my Television remote. I have failed to operate it properly, and am seeking your expertise in this matter. May I please have your assistance?

Seriously. I want this to be a recording before people call in. Woot.

Drunk

I just got these pictures from Amy and was laughing so hard. I didn't know there was physical evidence of my drunkedness. Don't get me wrong, I have taken many drunk pictures, but I am typically prepared for them, and can look at least a little bit sane. In pictures 1, and 4....I am not hiding the alcohol very well. Oops. I thought I would post these since they are fun memories with Kim, Amy, and Toni. I miss you fellers. We should setup a group trip to Vegas again. Once Deena and I are rolling in the money we should hit up the city of lights with a few folks for a weekend of fun. Woot.

Pants On The Ground

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA **Breath** HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA

Wordless Wednesday

Axe Deodorant

Not gonna lie...I ran out of my good stuff, and had to resort to the trial size of Axe until I can find my stash in the moving boxes. The entitlement on this fine deodorizer is "Stay dry, and focus on her"--Wait. How did the makers of Axe know that I am a lesbian?!?! This is wonderful!!!

-Ok, I'm not that stupid, however, WHAT IF, a woman used this deodorant. Would she HAVE TO focus on "her"? What if all she wanted to do was stay dry?

-Me personally, I like to stay dry, smell good, and focus on "her" (Deena). But what if some woman "accidentally" purchased this deodorant, would she feel pressured to focus on "her" ...I mean really, who is "Her" exactly? What if "her" was someone less favorable to glance upon, or what if "her" was not a her, what if "her" was a HIM? I guess "her" couldn't be a him since they clearly stated "her"...Hmm...something to ponder makers of Axe. You sure are putting a lot of pressure on folks to focus on "her"...

-All I wanted to do was stay dry... Ok fine I totally focused on "her" too. Are you happy makers of Axe? Are you happy that I did what your good smelling deodorizer told me to do?? Well you should be. I smell wonderful, and the "her" likes it too. Woot.

Brush Your Teeth

Some say whistle while you work...I say brush your teeth before you work. There have been too many times that I do a one on one and notice the breath of the person who is sitting in front of me. I often think that I should buy a large box of altoids to assist them in their funk-tified breath worries, however....why? If you want to walk around with yuck mouth that's really up to you right? It's like an amendment. Number 0. Section B: Thou shalt have the permission to pursue incredibly bad breath wherever thou shall go.  

As for me. I shall pursue my happiness with a clean mouth. Holler.

Mac Miller

Gabriel Iglesias

How to be gangster

Now this is Funny. Typically some of the youtube videos are lame as hell. Not today. These dudes are really funny. Young. Stupid. But funny. Check it out suckas!
Anywho. If you wanna de down with the hood team, and wanna learn how to become the most gangsterest gangster check out this video. Holler.


www.youtube.com/watch?v=LfhPFWloYIw

Brittany Murphy

Brittany Murphy- November 10, 1977 – December 20, 2009
It's hard to believe that she is gone at 32. Instead of allowing this post to be sad, and tear worthy...I have decided that in death we should celebrate life. I know I am delayed on blogging about her passing, but I think that when someone blogs about anyone's death, it should be done with care. So here we go:

Brittany Murphy starred in many films, including Clueless (1995); Girl, Interrupted (1999); Don’t Say a Word (2001); 8 Mile (2002) and Uptown Girls (2003) as well as many lesser-known films, such as Spun (2003). In 2004, she starred in the romantic comedy Little Black Book, and the critically acclaimed Sin City (2005). She starred in two Edward Burns films: Sidewalks of New York (2002) and The Groomsmen (2006). Just Married (2007)In 2009, she was cast in the Lifetime TV movie, Tribute, as the main character, Cilla. She is set to appear in the Sylvester Stallone film, The Expendables, which will be released in 2010.

The thing that I found most intruiging is that she didn't come off as that "I'm a diva, don't even so much as look in my direction" kinda girl. She played numerous sexy roles. She knew she was beautiful, but didn't let all that get to her head. You can see it in her eyes. My favorite movie by Brittany Murphy was definitely "Just Married" with Ashton Kutcher. The movie showed her playful side. She had some sexy roles in the past, but "Just Married" showed her playful, realistic side. There are many celebrities that I would hang out with, and an even larger number that I wouldn't. Brittany, you were top 5. Cheers to you. Rest In Peace.

Am I crazy?

I think all too often we take ourselves WAY to seriously. Some have a habit of making a mountain out of a mole hill, and some simply could care less. But it's true, we take ourselves too seriously. And why? No one else takes us too seriously? -Unless you are the president, or a senile grenade maker. Woot.  
Myspace Funny Picture Graphics

George Bush is Black

I know I know. This posting is "racey" right? Well, here's my theory on it, if you can't laugh at Bush, who can you laugh at? Don't get me wrong, I believe that he is an intelligent man, however...he is NOT the best spokesperson...for instance: "Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country." —Poplar Bluff, Mo., Sept. 6, 2004. Point proven right? 
Myspace Funny Picture Graphics

Why you no call me?

I have a habit of using voices when I make a joke. Everything from Borat to Donald Duck. I'm not sure why I use them when I make a joke, but they are very effective. Deena laughs...she is kind of obligated though...she is my girlfriend. Yeah well, I may not be funny, or speak funny, but this makes me laugh. Holler 
Myspace Funny Picture Graphics

Sexy Airplane ride

Deena and I recently took a flight to Los Angeles. I took some picture on the flight and on Venice Beach. The flight pictures were to distract me from my fear of heights, and the other menu picture was to keep myself busy while Deena used the bathroom. I swear sometimes I cannot sit still. Blow up the cell phone pic. Woot! Not for young eyes. ;)

Highrise in Phoenix

Almost finished with our living room. Deena put a lot of effort into it. Everything looks so good. Our home is coming along very nicely. Any suggestions on decorations please email me. Hoot and holler.

Freedom of...pins?

I had this picture sent to me by a friend. She saw this dude with his buttons shining all bright without a care in the world. I thought it was funny. I definitely believe in freedom of expression, but when does it become inappropriate? I often wonder how my grandparents would feel if they saw me in something. I'm sure they would gasp, and urge me to remove the pins. Then I think, "who cares" but in all reality, someone does. Not to say that you should base everything you do off of what your grandparents would think, but I would definitely think twice before I wore a "F*ck for Peace" pin in a Bible study. Woot.

Jack in the Box and Burger King

I heart Jack from Jack in the Box. He is very funny. His commercials make me laugh. Especially the big Dis' on Burger King. Hillarious! If you have not seen the commercial please check it out. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GEVMkdScUZc

It is MORE than worth it. He makes me laugh. I find him appealing to the more intelligent people. Not to say that "less than intelligent" people don't get his commercials or billboards, BUT I do think that he is targetting a certain crowd. Go Jack Go. I don't think your food is much better than anyone else's...but I do LOVE the commercials. Holler hey!

Goodbye old house

Sometimes it's hard to say goodbye. Other times it's nice to say goodbye. I will miss that apartment, but I am so happy where I am now. The last picture is Sirena and I acting a fool as we left the old place with another load. I am so glad that moving heavy $hit is over. My muscles were getting too big. Woot.

New condo

ere are some more pictures of the new place. It is coming along nicely. I am excited for what we have going on. I love you babe. House warming party coming up soon!!! Woot