Jager. It's gotta be illegal to love it this much.

My BFF Toni and I love Jager. We have recently involved Xan on this adventure. It has been one hell of an adventure too. I am excited to leave for Las Vegas in 2 weeks. We are going to have so much fun. I am focused on the prize. First Drunk, then lose weight. :) Sounds odd right? Well after our Weekend of our 2 favorite things, (Jager and Vegas) We are all going on a diet. The HCG diet. I'm super excited too. This does mean that I will have to say goodbye to Jager for the time being, and hello to Vodka Tonics. (Yuck) Oh Jager, you will be missed.

2 things my bff LOVES

My best friend Toni LOVES the show Dexter, and of course Jagermeister. It has to be the nectar of someone important. :) She recently got me into Dexter. It is a really interesting show. Full of surprises and some occasional gore. The shows is based around a killer. Not just an ordinary killer. I guy who kills the bad guys. It really awesome. I took this shot for Toni. Where I work we have tons of these all around. Thanks Tone! You are the best bff!

Prop Saturdays a day for Philli and Fatty

I had my Philli work with me this Saturday. Jenni is sick. :( Feel better Jennifer Lynn! We both knew that today would be a one heck of a day. PPV was extremely slow, and the queue was at a dead 0. So we decided to re-create the Village people. It started off with simple bow ties, and lead to swords, umbrellas, electric guitars, loin cloths, and contruction gear. Today was a wonderfully creative day. I now have a new appreciation for Saturdays at work. A once boring day was turned into a humurous and bright afternoon and evening. Thank you to all participants who shall remain nameless. :)

Something eating at you?

I know I have felt like this from time to time. Sometimes we all need a little saving grace. A little relaxation to reduce the wandering of the mind. I have so much on my mind. I am excited for the weekend. Oddly enough I am excited to grocery shop...? Not sure why though. It's a little ridiculous. Fridays are always like this. I always want to leave and go spend the money that I need to so that I can come back and work. I'm tired. Exhausted. My feet hurt, and now I have a shark chewing on my fingers.

Send a Funny Picture to me Day

I had these pictures sent to me recently. I thought they might cheer someone's day up. I know they did mine.

On the way to Summer's

The sun was so beautiful. Xan and I were going to Summer's house so that she could cut my hair and eat some dinner. I love her cooking. So so much. I have only allowed a handful of people cut my hair. She is one of them. I absolutely refuse to go to some salon and have a stranger cut my hair. I feel like Samson. Although I totally do not get weaker when she cuts my hair. Thanks Summer Bummer. I love you.

Kitty cats. Junior and Mia

I would go crazy without these 2. I wouldn't have anything to knock over chairs and anything on the coffee table, I wouldn't have anything to stink up the entire area surrounding the litter box, I wouldn't have them wrestle on top of me while trying to sleep, and I wouldn't have cutesy pictures like these. Thanks kids. You know I love you more than most.

HA!! JAGER MAN!

My bff Toni and I LOVE Jagermeister. It is the best ever. This has to be the funniest thing ever. This dude is so cool!!!

My childhood bed

My mom emailed me about a month ago and asked me what she should do with my childhood bed since she was turning my bedroom into a spare bedroom. I was a little sad when I realized I had no need for it. I'm hoping some child will take good care of it. My mom hand painted this bed, and even custom designed it. Sounds funny right? It's true. The hearts on the frame were hand drawn an painted. Also if you look at the headboard you will see it's soft and cushy. I used to hit my head against it a whole lot. I was a tornado sleeper as a child, so my mom installed my own personal "airbag" to stop any further brain damage. I asked her to send me some pictures of it, and she did today. It makes me sad, but I really do hope that when she donates it that some child will really love it. I love you Mom. I'm thinking of you today.

Lesbian Guide by popular demand

About a year ago I had friends come to me and ask about Lesbianism 101. Many were male friends who have had trouble communicating with women. I think as lesbians we have the upper communicational hand. (although we typically give out too much information.) This is just one topic that I will be touching on. Stay tuned. I have much to learn, and even more to teach.

Introduction: First impressions are not everything, but for most of us, it's all we have.

Before leaving home: Be sure that you have the right apparell on. If you are going to a jazz club, holey jeans and a t-shirt are out of the question. Make sure you not only look good, but you smell amazing. A good cologne/perfume really does make a difference. It is also a great conversation starter. If she likes your cologne she is likely to compliment you. If you are driving, make sure your car is trash free, and smelling good. A woman does not like sitting on stacks of old t-shirts, and stepping on 4 weeks of mail and a bologna sandwich just to get into your hooptey.

Greeting: Keep in mind, that often times we have one shot. Be careful to not let pressure make you appear timid. Women love confidence. It's a make or break kind of thing. When meeting someone new it is VERY important to keep your head held high, look her right in the eyes, smile softly, and speak CLEARLY. No one likes having to guess what your name is, or even worse having to ask for it again later on in the night. If you shake her hand, hold it lightly, and shake gently. No need to grip her tight so she thinks you're just a creep, and trying to play grabby @$$.

Getting to know her: Social events or clubs are the easiest to get to know someone without a ton of pressure. Get a table in the back. And away from speakers to avoid her not being able to hear anything that's going on.

Talking: It is very important to put on some manners as well as a jovial attitude. It's ok if you aren't the life of the party, but you better be "in" with the party. It's good to make the people around you laugh. No inappropriate/racist/fart/gossip related jokes. Those jokes have the ability to make anyone appear to be ill educated, ignorant, and wrapped up in everyone's life. That is a complete turn off. Please Refrain. It is good to make a joke, then leave the table for a short time. It leaves mystery, and if she was laughing she is waiting for more. Offer to buy her a drink before leaving the table. Leave everyone laughing, and have her attention on you and you alone. When you do this, lean close to her (almost as if you are telling her a secret in her ear) and ask if she would like a drink. (If she is slightly interested she will take you up on it.) Don't wait for the waitress. No need for her to be parched because you're lazy. This will also give her time to think if you are worth it. Don't forget to excuse yourself from the table.

IF YOU TANK, THIS DOES NOT MEAN THAT YOU SHOULD GIVE UP. TRY ONCE MORE

Body Language and Touching: It is very important to NOT touch unless touched first.

Body Language: It's perfectly acceptable to want to get to know your "date" on a physical level. This cannot be rushed. She may hardly know you. Touching her too soon could lead to her thinking that is your only focus. Hopefully you have some funny anecdotes. If she is laughing, and really enjoys your company she will do 1 of 2 things. She will either brush your shoulder lightly to show endearment, touch your knee, or laugh so hard she can't take her eyes off you. So make sure your clothes do not have cheeto remnants on them, and that you have nothing in your teeth. If your table wants to dance, always offer to accompany her. If she declines, ask to keep her company. If she wants to dance, take her. Although be sure that only 85% of your focus is on her. It's ok to go to the bar for a refill, or chat with your friends. Showing her to much attention could lead her finding you clingy.

One on One: Coversation is often hard to do. Let me show you the way.

Personal conversation: This is where you will get to know each other. Of course she will learn some things about you while at a social event, but if she gives you the inclination she wants more...then let her have it. Although be sure to never flood with to much vital information. It's good to answer her questions instead of freely giving random bits of information about your neighbors dog. Beware of word vomit. It is very easy to achieve. Make sure when you are asking questions they aren't to personal. Nothing about marriage, children, lifelong goals. This is an initial meeting. If you mix well together, you will find all the details in due time. No need to rush. This a marathon. Not the tortoise race. Keep your questions simple. Are they involved with anyone? Favorite food? Drink? Place to relax? Occupation? No need to ask about what they thought of the Notebook. It's a can that does not need to be opened, and there aren't enough tissues that you can hold in your pockets.

IF YOU TANK, THIS DOES NOT MEAN THAT YOU SHOULD GIVE UP. TRY ONCE MORE.

Leaving for the night: Saying good night

Goodnight: Assuming that your night goes wonderfully you will have to say goodbye at some point. Majority of the time you will not be the one taking her home. She probably came with a friend, and would never leave her behind. Be polite. Thank her for the evening, and give her your number. If she gives you hers, great. Never ask for hers. It makes you look desperate. She will already know that you are interested if you give her your number, so don't worry about her not getting that vibe from you. If she doesn't call, no big deal. Give it a chance to marinate, and if it doesn't reach that point then move on. If you see her again in the same club consider her an aquaintance. Never ignore her, but never ask why she didn't call. If she forgot about it, your presence will certainly remind her. And remember. No sex on the first date. If she's that into you, it will leave for much mystery.

The Bible Tells me So

Exodus 20:3-17
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Proverbs 3:5-6
Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Matthew 22:37-39
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.

Matthew 16: 26
No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money.

Blue Flavor of FK

Venice CA

Melvin

No no no. Her real name is not Melvin. But she certainly looks like one in my dorky thick fake glasses. Thanks Peter Piper Pizza. You made me laugh last night.

New "art"

I painted this up the other night. I'm in no way shape or form talented. But I thought I would give it a shot. Not sure where I will be hanging this one up. Probably in the bathroom.

Sometimes Music Gets to me. Today it did.

Drake ft. Jojo - Houstatlantavegas
Christina Milian feat. The Dream - Welcome to Vegas
Dirty Money - Love Come Down
Lil’ Wayne feat. Drake - My Darlin’ Baby
Drake - Fear
Janet Jackson- "Make Me"
Amerie Ft. Trey Songz "Pretty Brown Eyes"
50 Cent "Baby By Me"
RydazNRtist - Sorry Ass Apology
Alicia Keys -"Doesn't mean anything."
Fizz & Boog - Bounce
Chris Brown feat. Pharrell Williams - Not My Fault

hahahahaha YES!!!!

Philly!!!

My buddy Philli has to be one of the funniest people that I know. She has been on the tower of terror 10+ times, but it still scared $hitle$$ when she is on it. Now I know the picture is really blurry, but I think I make my point. :)

Stolen From Tone Loc. Goofy Faces Part 1

So Toni and I have this thing...we make goofy faces at each other. Not really sure why, but it makes us laugh. Some folks have adopted this recently, Xan being one of them. I thought I would share our ridiculousness with the world. If you have any funny ones, send them to me. :)

French Fry Burrito

Last night Toni, Xan, and myself went to Filibertos for some late night Mexican food. Toni ordered an egg, cheese, and potato burrito. When we got back to the house, we realized that they forgot a very important ingredient. Egg. Toni ate a french fry burrito last night. I hate when some of these places get lazy and instead of putting cut up potatoes in their burritos, they put stinkin frenchy fries. LAME. The food was good though, as always. And Toni did make a beany, cheesey, lettucey, hot saucey dip. :)

Junior Putuner

If you have seen a cuter cat, I would like to debate with you. He's a winner in my eyes.