Some things in my head. Can you comprehend?

In all essences that maturity has bound. I still feel stupidity and contained to a habitat. I feel as if I squandered myself control for the wishing of an emotion that was once foreign to me. Once I gain control of my nature my tears still fall for they have no reason to stop. I find myself resembling a child. One who needs the nurtuing and comfort of a mother. It's then I realize how lost my childhood really was. No one to blame but my own inhibitions and my rush to not be vulnerable with my childhood. The memories that remain are dismal and barren. They lack essence and compassion. I stand in self realization that my childhood never began because of the conformities I have forced upon myself.