Incendies Letters

Incendies is an Independent film that came out in 2010. It's about a Mother who passed on, and left letters behind for her children. In order for the children to receive the letters, they had to go on a quest to find the meaning behind their lives. Very intruiging and touching film.

This movie has inspired me to write letters. Thursday evening I am venturing across the country to see my Grandparents, Aunt, and Uncle for the first time in 10 years. I've had a ton going on in my life. Between moving out of our condo, and making a million life changes; I fear that the Break up between Deena and I may be permanent. I think that she knows that I love her. At least she tells me that she does.

I want to write letters. To her, and to my family. In the event that something happens to me; I want her to know what I feel and why. I want her to know that I am sorry for all of the things that went wrong, and all of the things that made her upset.

I don't often share my feelings like this. Forgive me this once. But if you have ever lost someone due to you. Due to stupid mistakes, then I bet you will understand what I'm feeling. I can't lose her. She is the only woman that I want to have children with, the only woman I want to make a home with. The only woman that I want to eat dinner with everyday. The only woman I want to go to Vegas with. The only woman who I want to make love to. The only woman I want to tell about my day. Life seems to empty without those thoughts. They are empty without those thoughts.

I wish I could stop crying about it. It seems that I can't go a day without beating myself up. This isn't healthy. I've never done this before. I've never felt like this before, and that scares me the most. I don't know what the future holds, but I do know that nothing will ever be the same. Look for a letter if anything ever happens to me. If you weren't sure if I loved you then, you will know now.

Out.