Updated

Things have been a little crazy lately. Darlene went back to hurt this past Monday. She has about 30% remaining vision. It's scary but she is just such a trooper. She could accept defeat. She could quit and say that she cant do it, but she's the strongest woman I know. I am so lucky to have her as my wife.

Last year we hustled so hard and was able to pay off $20k in debt. This year will be no different. With her working again this means that we will be able to pay off my last looming debt. Once that's complete for the remaining $18k we can move on to student debt and have them handled before the end of 2017. This would be absolutely debt free.

2016 will be the land of many businesses. eBay is doing well for me. Always paying off the Southwest Gas bill and I am so grateful for that business. On the flip side, I am going to get this lamp business off of the ground. In addition, I am going to solicit people to help me with it and start a side business. I need something to pop off, and it's going to happen this year. I can feel it.

I feel like I have been taking on so very much emotional stress lately. I'm lucky and so very little of it has to do with my personal life. My only fear is for my wife not having vision. That's such a small worry in comparison to previous relationships. Praise Jesus for my wife!

Thoughts that circle my mind on days like this...

How is it that you devote yourself to being an example of someone who is generous, kind, forgiving, and patient. Yet you are so unkind, unforgiving, and impatient to the people who devote their heart strings to you? How could you be such an advocate for those things on social media, but in the real world you don't live that way? Explain this to me. Not because I deserve your personal explanation, but how do you plan on being an advocate for humanitarianism yet cannot inspire without insult to the people closest to you? Last I checked, growth starts within and blooms on the outside. It cannot be faked, it cannot be artificially grown. It takes dedication, and the right ingredients to make something flourish. Learn the steps or get out of the stairwell already.

If you can turn your love for someone on and off like a light switch, someone needs to rewire the hell out of you.