It's January 14, 2015 and you had a realization today. You are fat. Please don't be confused. I don't mean this to tear you down like many have before. What I mean is, you have done nothing to progress your life and your body. You have left it out to hang, and seem to not care about that. What's up? Do you care about your body? Your life? Your life quality? Expectancy? Since when did inhaling whatever food you wanted become a thing for you to do? You were a champion. A goal getter, an achiever, a beast. Now look at you. Your 8 year old wants to play ball, and you can't. Your 8 year old wants to drag you all around Disneyland and you can't. Your back hurts. Your feet hurt. You're tired. You feel old. You're 29. Did you think that 29 would feel like 60?
You've abused me. Filled me with chemicals, processed foods, unnatural preservatives, and ate in excess. Why are you doing this to me? What did I do? I'm so sorry! For whatever it is that I have done to make you do this to me. Please don't make me consume those things a day longer. I feel like I am dying. I feel like I can't breathe. I feel like I can't move, can't walk, can't do anything. I'm out of breath from a flight of stairs. Will my heart give up and just explode? Will I clog my valves with too much junk and collapse. Please. I'm sorry. Please don't make me do this any longer. I've treated you well in the past, what has changed? Did I say something to upset you? Do something to make you treat me with such hate? Please make this stop. I have headaches every single day. My esophagus burns from the acid. I am taking medications on a daily basis just to relieve this pressure. It's not stopping only masking it. My chest hurts. Why aren't you listening to me? I've told you for a week now. What if I stop beating? What if I forget? What if I am too tired?
Listen, this is not to hurt you. Only to help you see. That without me, there is no you. Without my beating you will not walk. You will not see. You will not chase and play. You will not love. You will not hold. You will not be. Do you hear me? Are you listening? What's with this food? What are you doing? Please make this stop!!!
Sincerely,
Your Body
Dearest Body,
I'm a terrible listener aren't I? When was the last time we actually spoke? What's it been? 10 years. I'm sorry. I've been too busy dealing with myself to even think to listen to you. You're right. I have not been a good owner. I have deprived you of the things you need to sustain life. I have slowly tried to kill you without even realizing it. I stand in front of a mirror today saddened by what I have done to you. You didn't do anything to deserve this! Really! You've done nothing wrong. You have done things right. You've warned me. Talked to me. At least tried, and I have failed you. I'm so sorry. You deserve someone better than this. Someone who wouldn't downplay all the athletics you have given me. All the motivation and ability. You are so right.
Today on January 15, 2015 I stand on a scale weighing 280 pounds. I have been this weight for more than 5 years. And today. On January 15, 2015 will be the last day that I am ever this weight. I will no longer fill you with processed foods. I will no longer binge eat to fulfill a need that is not present. I will fill you with items that sustain life, not drain it. I will treat you the way that you deserve. I will treat you with respect. I will treat you like you deserve because you are worth it! I want to play with my 8 year old kid. I want to teach her to run and jump. I want to be an amazing active co parent to a great kid, and I want to be a better partner for my deserving wife to be. This is all OVER. I am not going to pretend like you deserved this. YOU DO NOT DESERVE THIS. You deserve everything. And you are right. Without you, there is no me. I will treat you like that moving forward. Forgive me. For not listening. I am listening now, and will be forever.
Sincerely,
Lou
Happy 6 months of no garbage. Love your body. Without a healthy one, there is no you. This morning marked 53.4 pounds lost. It's been 6 months since Darlene and I started, and I am not stopping now. Let this be a motivation. I am no longer a sad sack of I don't care what I eat. I am a champion, and I refuse to be anything less than that.
. Be good. Be blessed. Be you. I love you Darlene! Thanks for supporting me through all of this, and being my work out partner, my meal planner, my amazing Wife to be!
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