Jenni V's questions for me.

So, I didn't read any of your questions because I didn't want to get writer's block. Forgive me if their are repeats.


1. What name did you wish you had when you were younger? When I was young everyone called me Louisianna. I did not favor this name. I would have gone by ham sandwich to avoid my own name back then. Fo sho.

2. When was a time that you felt brave? Everytime that I have 1 to many cocktails. I feel my bravest then. I can lift incredibly heavy objects, I can dance like a rock star (and look just like one too), I can also eat tacos and chicken sandwiches as if it was my last meal. It's a huge talent. You wouldn't understand.

3. When was a time that you felt nerdy? When my mom calls me asking simple questions about her computer, like how to turn it on, explaining that I do not know why the "e" in Internet Explorer is lower case, and arguing that the screen has to be on in order to see the internet. She makes me feel extra nerdy.

4. If someone were to really know the real you, what would they not like? I'm a cheap @$$. Like really. My friends call me Cheapy Cheaperson. I like my money where it belongs, in my pockets or invested into a substance that will make me feel brave.

5. Same question as before, but what would they really like? I'm very giving. Especially with my home. If someone needs a place to stay, a meal, a beer, an ear, to shed some tears, or just a queer. That's me. All the way.

6. If you were given $1000, what is the first thing you would do with the money? I would buy a new kitchen table. That's the only thing that is lacking in my house. I like my furniture, but I HATE (I don't use that word often) that stinkin 1970's table with brown padding on the seats, wheels, and gold shimmery legs. Although this is fun if you are into chair racing.

7. What was a defining moment in your life? I like to think that I haven't had one yet. It not only keeps me grounded, but it keeps me focused on a new day.

8. What was the worst haircut ever? I was 9 years old and my mother was always the one to cut my hair. She asked if I wanted anything different, (I had long flowing wavy hair) and I said, "no, just a trim." One and a half hours later my hair went from flowing down to my back side to only flowing to the bottom of my ears. I obviously was not sitting in front of a mirror, and I trusted her to trim not annihilate. Needless to say I looked like a 9 year old boy with a fresh bowl cut. Thanks mom.

9. How would you spend a Sunday afternoon with the one rule that you couldn't spend it with anyone else? I would probably clean my house, and watch all the sappy love movies that I don't dare watching in front of my friends for fear of endless amounts of teasing. There is just something about the Notebook that gets me everytime. **sniff**sniff**

10. Do you want a big wedding or a small wedding? What do you consider big? I certainly don't want a coliseum full of people, but I definitely would want all of my friends and family there. So, I will go with medium.

11. If you could live anywhere else where would you life? I would definitely live in Las Vegas. I travel there often enough to know my way around, I love the people, and I can get a beer at 4am. IF I wanted to. That and the flashing lights stimulate my brain.

12. What is your worst ridiculous fear? Running out of milk. Milk is a serious thing in my life. It's like air...soap...clean towels...toilet paper...you get my drift? Let me give you a scenario--If I ran out of milk at 3:30am, I would go to Wal-Mart (half asleep) and purchase a gallon (probably 2). If there was one gallon left, and a ninja and myself had our hand on the same gallon I would grab the most acidic orange juice (Donald Duck) and dump it on his head. Then run (hobble) to the clerk to claim my milky victory. Word.

13. If forced with the decision of eating rotten decomposed testicles or shooting yourself in the foot, which would you chose? (I don't know, don't ask.) What a creative mind you have! Hmm...the consequences of shooting my foot could leave me unable to walk for a period of time, more than likely more painful than anything I have ever experienced, and I risk blowing off a toe... Eating rotten decomposed testicles is not only grotesque, but it also against all lesbianism...Besides, I don't want to known as the lesbian who put balls in my mouth. So, hand me the glock and a bottle of whiskey. Bang!

14. What are you the best at? I'm charming. Like Nat King Cole "Mona Lisa" charming. I got game. And I don't mean a hoop star.

15. What do you consider cheating? Physical interaction or overly flirtatous actions. I'm pretty free spirited. If we're together I know who you're coming home to, at the same time this does not give a person free range to diddle. Yes. Diddle.

16. When you picture your life in 10 years what do you see? I'll be 34 in ten years. I see myself either married, or getting divorced. 34 is a pretty stable age right? Or it's supposed to be. I'll be settled. With or without someone by my side. I see lots of cats in my future.

17. What is the first thing you do when you wake up (after you pee of course)? Check my phone. See what calls and text messages I missed (hoping that Ms. Right found my number that was posted on one of the many bathroom stalls). I normally prolong the getting out of bed. I hit the snooze button more than I hit anything. :)

18. If you could take a class in school right now, what would you sign up for? Broadcasting/Communications. I will be in the music industry at some point in my life, and when I am I will be the fried to the chicken, the square to the rubik's cube, the cow to the milk, the day to the month, the club to the bar...ok I see you get it now. I'll be off the chain. For sheezy.

19. Tell me someone else's secret (without using names)? I know someone who diddled on their wife. He's a poo face.

20. What is the worst sexual experience you've ever had? I was 17, everything was fine. Until I heard an awkward noise coming from my partners stomach. Before I could put 1 and 1 together she had already achieved a #2. That was the worst sexual anything. EVER. :)

Hope you liked it. Answer mine already woman! :)