Some Things are better left unsaid.

Sometimes I don't find the time to post certain things, and sometime pictures do get lost in the abyss. Well, in this casy I got a little lucky because I found some pictures that I have yet to post. Some are silly, some are funny, and some are just plain Gangstar.

This first one was taken when I was a little angry. :/ Ok I'm lying. I am never angry, but I do try to pull off the "Killer" look. Believe me, this look is hard to achieve when you are a 4 eyed Geek.

TLB is my BFF. I love her to D-E-F-F. Ok, that was oober lame, but a little funny. She's got my back like 4 flats on a Cadillac, like bra straps, like a backpack....ok you get it. She's my road doggie.

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This one was taken when I had my wings. I know that they are hard to see, but that's what happens when you are a retard and set EVERYTHING to black and white. This was just before a Derby Dame party. The theme was Angels and Demons. I went as a fallen angel.

This is what happens when you play with female condoms....So one night I found a plethora of these bad boys. I felt like a belly dancer without the dance. It was pretty funny. They are flavored too. Who woulda thought? I could have my cake, and eat it too. :D

The Bull (Me)

Apparently a website has me all figured out. I won't lie to you though, they have some major points that shows a lot of Taurus traits. We honestly do put up with a whole lot, but when it comes down to it, and you shove us one inch to far...you have just driven into Fuckville, and a Taurus is the Mayor.

On another note. We don't chase. I would much rather chill with my friends, and if opportunity arises, it does. Otherwise I don't go out of my way to run around trying to attract. I would rather win people over by getting to know me rather than basing an opinion off of physicality.

The one thing they did forget to put it in here is that Taurus' are DEAD sexy. ; )

The bull seldom rushes forward to stomp on your toes. Don't disturb him and he'll remain contented. Press him and he becomes obstinate. Shove too hard, tease too much, and be prepared for violent rage. He can go for months and years on end. Then some unexpected day, a pushy person will pile one straw too many on his broad back. He'll snort, begin to paw the earth, narrow his eyes-and charge. Get out of the way as fast as you can and run for your lifel The Taurean temper is seldom displayed impulsively, but when the bull gets mad, he can destroy everything in his path, up to and including Scorpios. Destroy is not the right word. Demolish is better. It may be some time before the dust settles and peace reigns again. Some Taureana have such control that they only charge once or twice in a whole lifetime. Even the quick-tempered ones won't erupt more than once or twice a year, if that often. Still, it's best to remember that Taurus usually doesn't get just a little mad or annoyed.

Taurus is strongly attracted to all sexes, but ag­gressive pursuit of any kind of pleasure isn't in his bag of tricks. He prefers to attract people to him. Why should he waste his energy chasing them over the countryside? A short trip to a farm and some astute observation of the laws of nature will make it clear how the Taurean emotions are activated in both love and friendship. Passivity is the typical behavior. Taureans would rather entertain hospita­bly at home than go to the trouble of visiting. The effort required for scintillating popularity doesn't appeal to the bull's nature. If you want him, you can call him. He'll be there. Throw out the line of comradeship or romance, and hell pick it up, if it interests him. He'll know what ' to do with it, too, which isn't always true of the more gregarious signs.

Much LOVE!! I'm out.

Oral.

Oral B the floss!! Get your mind out of the gutter. Funny story about some floss. This one was ridiculous funny. Not like someone tells a joke and everyone laughs, but like watching a curious cat get into mischief kind of funny. We were walking along, and in some rocks we saw this floss face down displaying only a white small compartment. We must have looked like 3 bums standing over this pot full of rocks. We even tried throwing rocks to try to get this little white compartment to turn over. Finally I grabbed it with my hands displaying this oral B floss. Not sure why this little white thing intrigued us so much. I guess it pays to be flossy.

Chopped and SCREWED

Now I know what you're thinking...or at least I think I know what you're thinking. You are probably thinking what did you win after hitting five 7's?!? Did I win millions?!? Thousands?!?! Hundreds?!?!? Well, the answer is $2. Two louzy stinkin dollars. Why?-Do you ask. Well, there are 2 problems here. One is obvious, the other one is not so obvious.

Problem 1. Some 7's are "Double" 7's, and some are just Joe Smoe 7's.
Problem 2. I'm playing on the frickin Penny slots.

Note to self: Do not repeat previous mistake.
SCREWED.

Here is Philly gettin hustled. HARD. This chick really knew how to sell her dead sea salts and body washes. She knew what it took to draw in a crowd (ie: Watch dead skin fall off of this woman....and who wants to be galmorious in 2 seconds by scrubbing your face off with dead sea salts??) and the crowd liked her too. Let me tell you, there is nothing that I want to do more than scrub my face off with salt. That's right, apply salt to my open wounds...where do I sign?-NO
SCREWED.

This is a classic case of misidentity. Say you're walking down the street, and you see a lil somethin somethin strolling down the street. All you can see is their back, the way they walk, style of dress, and if you're luck you can hear a voice. All of the sudden...CRACK!! FLASH!! BOOM!! This lil dime turns around and shows you her ram kissey face. That is what I call CHOPPED.

Downtown Phoenix by my office

These shots were taken outside of my office on a Friday night. It helps to looks at the sky sometimes. As corny as it may sound, it's a mental relaxer. I feel at ease when I can focus on taking pictures. I feel as if nothing could go wrong. If the sky decides to open and up and start pouring down, the picture will look intense. If the sky decides to clear out and show the beaming sun, the picture will look peaceful and serene. And if I get lucky to catch large clouds in the sky, the picture will reflect pure unadulterated art.

For some odd reason I have always had somewhat of an obsession with powerlines and the sky. It's beautiful to me. I'm no Ansel Adams, but I can see beauty when it's in front of me.

This is a mini glimpse of the light rail in Phoenix. This train is pretty cool. I haven't ridden on it yet, but someday I will. Someone once told me that Sherriff Joe wants to transport inmates on this train. My dad flipped out. I agree with him for once. Who would want to put citizens in harms way??

Philli and rabbit eating.

I had a friend leave me a wonderful little Veggie Platter which my buddy Phillicia and I tore up. It had all kinds of goodies. When no one was looking I caught Phillicia eating exactly like a rabbit. Only difference was she was using one hand and not two. I caught her in a food coma. If you look at her eyes you can see that they are glossed over in the most "Oh my gee golly this is so good" way. Also if you look at her hand you can see how she so carefully handles her brocolli in the most sensitive of ways. Almost like a drunk rabbit feeding on some delicious food.

Mmmm....if you get the chance to nom nom on some veggies I recommend a veggie platter from any major grocery store to ensure freshness. Also I recommend bringing a camera if sharing with a friend, so that everyone can join in on the capturing of the drunk rabbit look. Peace!!!!

Venice Beach on a Monday

Southern California is such a beautiful place, and Venice Beach is my #2 favorite vacation spot. This was drawn on Monday. My roommate went to Cali with some friends and asked me how to get to Venice, so I gratefully shouted the directions. In return she brought me sand and wrote my name on the beach. I wish I could have gone, but duty calls come Tuesday afternoons.

Downtown. There is no better place to cruise. One of my favorite things to do while residing in So Cal was to cruise down Hollywood, and through Rialto. There is nothing like living in Cali. I would go back, but there are so many expenses out there. I would pay a butt load of money for any and everything that I would need. I'm to cheap for all that anyways.

I am cheap. I don't spend money unless I absolutely have to. Unless I need to take a short vacation or something like that. Sometimes I just gotta get the hell away. Even then I am finding the cheapest hotel that is Roach free. Even when it comes to food. I am a cheapo. Some chicks do not like that, but it is what it is, and no one can make me break this piggy! woot!

Fish Market

This place is pretty good. I'm not going to lie to you though....intially I did not think that this place was a restaurant. **smile** Just saying. The sushi was great. Even the oysters were great. Had I not been driving I would have had a glass or 9 of champagne. I was so full by the end of the night. I even had left overs. Rest assured those were consumed as soon as I had room for them in my tum tum.

This one is called a caterpillar roll. Obviously because it resembles a catepillar. There is not catepillar meat in there...or is there?!? The world may never know. No really. No catepillars were harmed in the making of this roll. That would be cruelty to animals or something like that.

Besides, consuming a catepillar could cause 2nd, 3rd, or 7th hand smoke. Especially if you live in an imaginary world. Thanks Alice.

Mia my princess

I have been wondering about something lately...why do cats sleep so much? I come home from work, and they are sleeping, I leave for work and they are sleeping, I go to sleep and they are still sleeping!! They are up for maybe 4 hours in a day. That is odd. I kinda want to be a cat. I want to have someone love on me, feed me, play chase the lazer pointer with me, and have a clean toilet on a daily basis, and get into messes without being arrested. Know what I mean?!?
She does sleep a whole whole lot. But she is cute. I'm thinking of sending some of her pictures into LOL cats. I think that some of them would be pretty funny. She is crossed too, not sure if that would add to the cuteness or humor. She's still young enough to be considered cute for Siamese flaws.

Here she is sleeping next to me on the couch. I didn't have the heart to wake her up. So i was very very sneaky and snapped a few of her. This is after the pictures started. I think she is a little camera shy. All I could hear is Kanye West in my head singing how much he hates the paparazzi more than nazis. Wow. I'm a bad cat owner. Thanks Kanye.

On the real deal though, this kitty keeps me sane. She knows my moods and is cute when I need it most. I'm glad that I came in contact with her through Chris. Thank you my furry friend for all you do.

Man oh man

This is probably the best advice I was given by my good friend Chris. I never thought about it very hard, but it is very true. Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option. Sorry folks, no humor here today. Just some advice that I wish I could have realized sooner.

Sushi

Some people do not have a taste for this wonderful food. I happen to LOVE LOVE LOVE sushi. Almost any form. This last Monday I took my neighbor for some sushi at the Crown China. It was the bomb.com. Her kids came with us too. I was really surprised at how much her kids loved sushi. Most kids are freaked out by how some food looks, but they loved it.

I was starving this day, and ended up taking 3 or 4 plates on these bad boys to myself. I felt like Godzilla for a few moments. Like a huge animal taking on raw salmon, las vegas rolls, caterpillar rolls, and some mussels. It was amazing. I probably looked like a hungry Godzilla dying for some food. Oh well, at least the food was good, and I (Fat Godzilla) conquered some sushi.

Woot woot. Have a Great Godzilla day!

Blogging

I must say that the freedom to write about almost ANYTHING I want is pretty cool. I know sometimes my blogs are silly. Some are serious. Some are poetry. Some are just pictures. But I do love the fact that I can have that kind of diversity. I don't want to limit myself on what I talk about. I want to be able to talk about politics one day, and lima beans the next. Or anything funny that happened to me over the week.

I have seen a few blogs that interest me. Some that were voted top Blog, some that weren't. The great thing about these blogs is they have their own twists to it. Their own style. That's why I love individuality. I try to make the most of life because you don't know when it will be all over. That's why I love to write about the little things in life that effect us. Whether it is big or small. Stupid or smart. Chocolate Chip or Peanut Butter. Whatever the case may be.

I just want to have fun, and make others laugh in the process. So enjoy stories about life, about food, people, politics, photography, dancing, toilet paper, and about anything you can really think of. I hope that you enjoy. Sit back, relax, and enjoy the stylings of me. Thanks for tuning in.

Toilet Paper

Now, I know what you're thinking...who writes about toilet paper? Well, I wanted to expose something that many people come across but barely speak of...The infamous I'm on the toilet and there is NO toilet paper in sight situation. I have experienced this many times. More than I would like to say...Have you ever been to a friends house, drink a few beers (or water) and use their bathroom (John, Can, Shitter, Toilet, The Lou..whatever you call it)? I'm sure many would answer, "Why, yes of course; on many occasions." Ok here is part 2 of the question: How many of those time have their been not even a hint of toilet paper anywhere near the bathroom? I'm sure some can answer that it has at least happened once.

What a terrifying situation!! Even worse if your dropped a duece duece at your buddy's place. You find yourself looking for other objects to "clean yourself" with. Almost anything will do, but you have to be picky about what you use. For instance, an old dingy sock would be a last resort kind of option. Trust me...you do not want to go there.
So...what do you do??-Do you start crying? Wipe with the bathroom rug that has 70's fuzzy all over it? Dial 911? Start practicing magic to see if you can get a magic toilet paper roll to appear out of thin air? Say there is a bomb in the house so that everyone will evacuate? All of these are good options, but not the ones you want to use. The option that you SHOULD use is PROFANITY. --Sounds weird right? But it's true. If you insult your friend for not having toilet paper in the bathroom, it takes the embarrasment away from the fact that you have a doody bottom. For example, "Hey MotherTrucker, can your broke @$$ not afford to accomadate some Toilet paper in your bathroom? What if your mother came over?? Would you want her to wipe with her T-Shirt?!? Come on punk @$$ pass me a roll!" Your friends will re-direct laughter to your friend who has not supplied toilet paper in the bathroom, and this will leave you with a doody free bottom.

Now, the thing about the whole I'm on the toilet and there is NO toilet paper in sight situation...you NEVER EVER forget whose house you were at when this occurred. Sometimes the poor "bathroom" host deserves a reputation for never having any toilet paper in his home, and these people should have a wall of toilet paper built around their front door. I think the message would be sent fairly clear.

Now for those of you who have the bad toilet paper rep, that do not deserve it. Keep your head up. Buy some extra doody clean up (Toilet paper) put it underneath your sink so that your guests will not have to humiliate you. Or even worse TP your house. Good luck on all your Toilet paper endeavors, and remember that it is MOST important to have an ample supply of toilet paper to avoid all social embarrasments.

Disclaimer: No toilet paper was harmed in the making of this Blog. Brought to you by Fat Kid

New Playlist

For all to enjoy!! Hope you dig it! Have a Good Thursday!!

Cut Some Rug!!

Now I know what you're thinking...because I am an eggshell white color that my dancing ability is slim to none. Well, I will have you know that I dance like a river flows, and no I do not mean I can River Dance. Rivers and I could never dance the sweet planned out steps that it was supposed to have...I'm more like a Hip Hop/R&B Mo town dancer. Throw a lil salt in there and I am good to go!!



Now I definitely know how to do the rumpshaka!! I do enjoy going to some clubs to cut a little rug. I like to see my people and get caught up. Lately I haven't really had a desire to go out much. I'm tired most nights. I really want to get back into writing poetry, but lately I have struggled to find the time. I do find the time to do a lil dancing though. It's probably one of my favorite things to do.

Go Mario! Woot woot. I wish I was on the beach sippin Mai Tai's with my lovely right now. I could really use a vacation. I can't wait to have her here. I need time to lay back relax and get it Crunk in this building!! Thanks for tuning in, my time is running short. Catch me on the Flip!

It's been 8 days!!!!!!!

My bad you guys!!! I got an email from a dude in Texas who was like...."where you be at Fat girl?" I like dayyyuuum it has been 8 days. Work has been super duper busy. I am feeling stressed to the maximum.

My mom wrote me an email today telling me that her job may be letting some folks go including her...i was like "AAHHH!!!" No one likes to be unemployed. It's even harder talking to your parents about it. My dad finally got a yob at yack in the box. No. No he didn't, but he did find a good firm for communications to work for. I sent my mom's application out to like a bajillion employers. I am really hoping that someone will respond with the worlds greatest job for her. Ya know something like "Fortune 500 company seeks female to go on vacation 51 weeks out of the year with 7 paid Holidays." Or " Fortune 500 company seeking female to sun tan, and spend time at the beach shopping on our dime for 40 hours a week. Vehicle included as well as $25,000 a day for you to spend on anything your heart desires." Yeah. Something like that. I can dream right?

Work has been stressful. Sometimes in a good way. Sometimes in a not so good way. I have been trying hard to be the best Supervisor that I can be. Sometimes I want to say "HEY!!! Quit acting up!!!" Or..."Come on!!! Put the i pod down...we're workin here!!" Nah...that's really not my peeps. They try, and I ask them to push themselves, and they do for the most part. I am truly truly grateful.

Here is a picture of my June Bug. He was ready to pass out when he came back from the Vet. I think he was just thankful that he was home, and not having to be poked or prodded at anymore. What a difference! He's not as crazy. Then again he never really was...I'll tell you one thing I DO NOT miss. He used to get up in the morning and **almost** sit right on my face, and when your cat is NOT neutered, you DON'T want that kind of action. I'm just glad those days are over...on to the next. Have a good day everyone!!

Junior

My little man had his surgery on Monday. They are making him wear a cone to make sure that the incisions are not going to get infected. He was cuddling on my arm this morning. I didn't have the heart to move him even though I wanted to get up and hike. Now I will remember to have my pets spayed/neutered when they are kittens....before they can notice anything missing! Like GI-Normous balls. That was discreet wasn't it?

Mills this is for you!

I LOVE Phx, but LA is my home. They say that home is where is the heart is...well, if that's true my heart is at a Del Taco in West Los Angeles. Just Saying.

Bill Nye the Science Guy + Chemistry Homework=Jen

So for the longest time Jen and I have had a Bill Nye the Science Guy joke. Not really sure how he came into the conversation, but when it comes to me...anything stupid is probable. So she was having a hard time with her Chemistry homework, and I told her that I would hire Bill Nye to come and teach her...so I was walking through Wal-Mart one night and ran across this....is this not the best birthday present ever!?!? She would pass a thousand Chemistry classes with this!!

Ok so I am stupid. But I still think that Bill Nye is creepy cool.

My Doctor Visit

So I recently went to the Doctor to discuss my arthritis. Instead of focusing on my arthritis she drifted off on my weight. *Yikes* Every Fat persons dreading moment. She tells me how healthy I am then tells me to lose some poundage (No more Jager, Beer, and Jumbo Jacks at 3am). So for the last 4 days I have been really focused on this diet. Like really. Not like before where I would last 24 hours then break down. I am really doing it, and I'm happy about it. I get up early now. I hike Dreamy Draw. I eat right. And drink more water than I ever could have imagined. It's good though. I think I needed a little extra push to get on my way and start dropping my love handles.

My doctor is pretty cool...even though I can't understand half of what she says. She's from Poland. And if you don't know what it's like to listen to a Polish woman speak "Enngaalishe" (English) you really should. It's amuzing at times because all you can do is just sit there and nod. She probably thinks I am brain dead since half the questions she asks me I don't respond to since I can't understand her. Oh well. She's good, and she gives me all the support I could ever need. I have started a "Hey Lesbos let's walk up Dreamy Draw On Sundays to get fit group!" It's working out pretty well. Lot's of positive responses, and a lot of the people even want to come with me during the week. We shall see how it goes. So pretty soon it should look like this at Dream Draw....Ok maybe not. We aren't in Valencia and we aren't walking to try to eliminate sexism. Yikes who would listen anyways? -Anywho, I am hoping that this will be an experience to remember.

Go Fat People!!

Long Wongs and Valentines

I know that this is a little delayed but I wanted to post these anyways. Valentines weekend was a disaster, but before the disaster Jamie and I had some adventures...Long Wongs is the Bu$ine$$. It has to be some of the best Pizza and Wings I have ever had. I took Jamie for the Long Wongs Adventure. We landed in Jamaica for some colorful surroundings, then ended up in Heaven with a full mouth of the best pizza and wings in the land. It was delicious. An adventure that should soon be repeated.

This was my valentines day surprise for Jamie. I got her an Ipod Nano with cover (cuz she drops a lot of stuff) and some movie tickets. We had a good weekend. : )

Sorry

I haven't posted in a few days. I have been super busy with work and everything else. A lot has happened. My prayers are with the Chivira family at this time. I don't pray as much as I should, but this family has been on my heart for the last few days. I don't know what it's like to lose a parent, a husband...I can only imagine what this family is going through. I pray that God blesses you in your time of need. And if there is anything that you need let me know and I will do my best to see that you have it.

FK